(Because everyone's doing one) My Year in Review

("Through it All," words and music by Andrae Crouch)

This song has always been one of my favorites, and I've sang it in church quite a bit. I never thought that in a year I would live out a song. But I have.

"I've had many tears and sorrows-" April 13, 2010- I lost my job. We lost our health insurance. I never thought I would be out of work. Nov. 29, 2010- My wife gets a call @ 3 a.m. that her mom is unresponsive. After several weeks, she is recovering in remarkable fashion, and as I type this, is eating at K&W Cafeteria in Statesville. Dec. 7, 2010- My wife loses her job.

"I've had questions for tomorrow-" try being a NO income family and read that line.

"There've been times I didn't know right from wrong-" This usually occurs when driving behind an old person in downtown Lenoir that doesn't realize if they put their foot on that accelerator, they can go faster than 25.

"But in every situation God gave blessed consolation-" I got to spend lots of quality time with my kids. I would have never had this time if I were working. Most of Sophie's first year of life was spent with me. No one can take that away from me. Levi and I have played so much, and to have this time with him as well has been special. Also, we are learning in a great church (thank you, Elevation).

"He only gave me trials to make me strong." I am still a work in progress, mind you, but I have learned so much from this-humility (standing in line at Social Services offices), gratitude (from the kindness of people I have never met), audacious faith (thank you, Elevation), and determination (more on that later).
We've lost friendships this year in our family. I read those blogs sometimes, and it makes me sorry it had to happen. I do hope their family is doing well, and that the Holy Spirit is reviving that church.
December 23, 2010- I learned that I would be losing my funding to finish my last semester at school. I sent a message to appeal that, which will not be heard until next week, right before school starts. THEY CAN HAVE IT.
Dec. 29, 2010- I was offered a job today.Over the years I applied at this place SO MANY TIMES. I never thought I could get on there. But today, the breakthrough finally happened. Barring anyone lacing my food in the past few months, I will start mid-January. I also won my Fantasy Football league. The two do not compare, but it has been a GOOD, Good, day. Did I mention my mother-in-law is eating today at a cafeteria?
"Through it all, through it all, I've learned to trust in Jesus, I learned to trust in God./ Through it all, through it all, I've learned to depend upon His word." My big lesson from the year was trust. When I thought I could lose nothing else, I did. When It was all stripped away, He came to the rescue.
So here I sit. Was it a bad year? By earthly standards, yes. I have literally been through a living hell. But really, it was not a bad year. I have grown so much closer to God through what He taught me. These are lessons I may not have otherwise learned. I thank God for each one of them, and I cannot wait to enter 2011 to see what lies ahead.

An Important Lesson Learned

In the past two blog posts created on this site, I have noted the fact that everything had been taken away. My wife and I are both out of work, we have endured numerous hardships regarding our extended families, things are just hard. My pull quote from the first of these was "I will trust you, Lord, because I have nothing left."
I WAS WRONG.
I had something left.
Spike TV used to air a show called MXC (Most eXtreme Challenge), a transplant from Japan with phony American interpretation. It was basically a Japanese game show much like ABC's Wipeout!. One of the challenges the contestants would have to deal with would be climbing a hill when humongous boulders would come down at them. As I look up the hill, I have seen one of those huge boulders come hurling at me.
It appears I may lose my funding to attend my last semester of school. I received this news late Thursday, and there will be no one to talk to regarding the matter until after the new year, three days before the final semester starts.
I trust God. I really do. I do not understand His plans. In the heat of the battle, I know I am not meant to understand the plan. I also know that trusting is hard when it seems EVERYTHING is working against you.God has immensely blessed me and my family. We have seen blessing upon blessing in our current position. Yet this boulder hurling at me has caused me to look back down where I came from, instead of looking up for my help. My situation has blocked the view of my hope.
Here is the current verse I am leaning on, Ephesians 6:13: "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." I have found a little alcove to hide away from the boulder for now. All I can do is stand.
It is a helpless feeling. If you want to know what you can do for me or my family, please pray. Pray for us to have strength, wisdom, discernment, and direction. Pray that I can stand, armor on, ready for this battle.

Part 2: Looking Up at the Mountain

I promised at the end of the last blog that there was a part two. There is a continuation of the story from the point where my family declares I will trust you, Lord, BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING LEFT. Psalm 121 starts off "I lift my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth" (v. 1-2, ESV). Get ready, folks, this is the "BUT GOD" moment if the story.
Two days after my wife lost her job, we received three envelopes in the mail. One had an address label, one a return address, one- nothing. Each of these had cash in them. We received more the next day. Every day but one in this time, we have been receiving gifts in the mail- blessings from people that we have never met and do not know. We have been careful to mention this, because I did not want to put a limit on the blessing that God is pouring out on us, and because I was just too touched by it to go about it. We recently had committed ourselves to tithing and giving to our church. We know- we were supposed to be doing this the whole time- but had gone away from it as our debt load had become so high. We have decided we are tithing, and will continue to do so. ^" Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!" (Mal. 3:10, NLT) The blessing we have received, we will also pass on to others.
This is a bit disjointed, I know, but it is so hard to put into words. As Pastor Steven Furtick put it, "Sometimes God interprets our prayers in strange ways...
You prayed for God to be enough. You were put in a bleak circumstance where He had to be.
You prayed for increased faith. You found yourself in a situation that required it" (Stevenfurtick.com, Blog for Dec. 16, 2010).
We have been extremely blessed by the situation. To the members of our extended family that mentioned our need, thank you. To the  people, anonymous and unknown, that have answered the call to help meed our need, thank you. To the friends that have reached out, thank you.
Mostly, to the God that is able to exceedingly abundantly do more than we could ask or think, THANK YOU. We are not out of the valley, but the view up the mountain looks incredibly sweet.

A Brief Hello From the Valley

How things have changed around here since blog post #49.
My mother-in-law has been in the hospital with what is believed to be bacterial meningitis. As I write this she is on her way to a rehab facility.
My wife is now out of work. If you're keeping score, I've been out of work since April. This makes for a bad situation.
Two verses have been drifting around in my head in this past week. In the order they have been drifting, they are:
"He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust" (Matt. 5:45b). The other one is: "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it" (1 Cor. 10:13).
So God has been telling me that what is happening to us could happen to anyone, and that He must think a lot of us to give us this test.  My opinion is that He thinks more of me than I do.
What has happened is tough. He is calling us into a place of complete trust. I apparently didn't get that in April. I get that now. I trust you , Lord, because I HAVE NOTHING ELSE.
There is more to the story, folks. And I will share that with you in my next post, which will come in the next couple of days. God is already showing Himself faithful, and he is using complete strangers to do it. The excitement is starting to build...get ready.

A short list: My election recap

I haven't been political in some time, but the fact that I stayed up until 2 a.m. on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning allowed me to make some random observations. I present these in short list form. So sit back and enjoy!
1- California rejected a proposition allowing for legalization of marijuana. In a related story, a man named Dubie was not elected as governor of Vermont.
2- In spite of the fact that voters in California rejected legal pot, they still reelected Barbara Boxer to the Senate.
3. Maybe it's just me, but methinks something is rotten in the land of Vegas, to quote Macbeth. I think it was Macbeth.
4. This is actually taken from a tweet I saw that was brilliant in its sarcasm: That racist, sexist tea party was so terrible to get Marco Rubio, Nikki Haley, and others elected.
5. All the angry white people on Tuesday night appeared to make up the panel on MSNBC.
6. North Carolina's legislative body, the General Assembly, is Republican controlled for the first time since the late 1800s.
7. Rep. Bob Etheridge (D- NC) was seen earlier this year harassing a college student on video. For the next few weeks, he will be harassing election officials in classic Al Gore fashion.
8. During the Healthcare debate, Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL) said the Republican healthcare plan was to die quickly. Tuesday his career died quickly.
9. Speaking of angry people, the AP article hitting papers Thursday called voters "fickle." As the media continues to not get it, they will continue to demean the voters.
10. The President in Wednesday gave the impression of a person that has been humbled. Today he leaves on a trip that will cost taxpayers $2 BILLION. Glad that lasted long.
11. Nancy Pelosi has an 8% approval rating. Apparently those 8% all have Twitter accounts. I could not believe what I read.
That is all I have for now. The intent was to get you to think and make you chuckle.Next time, I promise to be back to the inspiration.

Who Boo Boo Hoo Hub Bub (HUH?)

I am becoming more bold in the territory in which I tread these days. I have a great respect for many of my Christian brothers and sisters that do not participate in Halloween. Personally I do not celebrate it, though I do participate in it. There is a great amount of evil activity that happens on that day, and a large amount of evil that penetrates the TV, the radio, and other places. It becomes difficult for a parent to shelter a child from such images. It helps that without much prodding from his parents these days, our son hides his eyes, or puts his face down, or runs into the other room when commercials come on for those things.
Now that that's out of the way, I have changed my perspective about how to approach Halloween. My verse reference is this: “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house." (Matt. 5:13-15, NJKV)
I know, I will be countered with the verse that says abstain from the appearance of evil, and what fellowship does the believer have with the nonbeliever, so on, so forth. Hear me, though. This is the one day a year more than any other that Christians use the power of darkness as an excuse to hide their light under a bushel and keep to themselves. 
Yes, in many places it makes sense to provide a safe place for kids to come out and enjoy the day. Yes, there are perverts and freaks out there that would like to take advantage of the day. Yes, the for the evil of the world this is one of the top days for their practice. But greater is HE that is in you than he that is in the world! (1 John 4:4) I read a couple of blogs yesterday that influenced me in this. Use this day as a day of outreach. Provide a safe place at your house for people to come. Invite them to your church. Spread the love of Christ in a direct (or indirect) way.
Use this day as just another day to show the world that Satan is defeated! The very day is meant to be the prelude to All Saints' Day. Realize in a way that Halloween is symbolic of the Enemy's "last hurrah." In the end, the Lamb has overcome. Think of this day as the enemy's last gasp. Use the day to show the love of God, and let the kiddies have a Hershey bar or two. Make sure they pick up some for me, as well.

Step on My Toes. Please. I Need the Pain.

Six months of unemployment have not made me a sadist. Having children did that.
I kid, I kid.
This blog has honestly been tough to put together. The difficulty has been figuring out which illustrations I want to put in it. But the basis is this:
Today I had a job interview, only the fourth since my departure from the last place. This may be difficult to comprehend, but the job interview was fabulous. It left me with a good feeling. The strange thing about that is, I will not get the job.
"Yeah. You've stayed at home too long. You have lost your mind."
 Stay with me here. The interview was at a luxury car dealership. The interviewer, Brian, was wonderful. He was straightforward with me, and we had an interview full of candor and straight talk. What he told me as a complete stranger many friends would not tell me. My wife would tell me, and has many times. She's good for me like that. She is the sandpaper of my life. In that manner, Brian was an excellent face for his company. He was not trying to sell his business just to get warm bodies in the payroll. He has a vision for the place he works, given to him by his superiors. It is a successful business model, passed down from a very respected name.
Basically, as a stranger, he was able to dispense some truth into my life that he could see as an independent observer. I do not think I would have seen this as a younger person. I don't even believe I would have seen this a year ago. I see it now, and I am thankful for it. I have also been getting this at church in the past six months. Challenging words from the Bible, God's Word being poured into my heart, it is what I have needed for my life.
I guess I have been a victim of the Southern culture, where we don't really say the hard things to someone, we just sugar that person up, then say it behind their back, along with a "Bless their heart" that somehow makes it all okay. It's okay to tell somebody something that will be hard for them to hear. That is how the Gospel gets spread. That is how lives get changed. This is how improvements are made. This is how a person grows mentally and intellectually. A person cannot grow without a little pain. Steel is not forged until it reaches the highest temperatures and is pounded into shape.
 The best illustration I can think of is the GEICO ad starring R. Lee Ermey. "Does a former drill sergeant make a terrible therapist?" The truth is, no he doesn't. Maybe the jackwod that needed a little self-confidence needed a little more drill sergeant treatment from him. It would help him to man up a little, and deliver him from "Namby-Pamby" land.
Thanks to my wife, Pastor Steven Furtick, and to Brian from Hendrick Motors in Hickory.  Thank you for telling me the things I need to hear, and not just tickling my ears. If this made any sense to you, please comment and let me know.

Forced Inspiration (and a tangent)

That's kind of a bleak title.
What does that mean?
It means that I really have nothing else to do at school right now in between classes, so I thought "Why not blog?"
in other words, this could kinda get diluted, so if you want to go to the next blog or to facebook, go right ahead.
Forced inspiration can be really rough. It could cause a preacher to not put his best foot forward for God, trying to make a point when all he is really doing is sticking his foot on his mouth. It could cause a songwriter to put together a really bad song just to meet a deadline, yet the song goes forward. Forced inspiration can make a really bad novel.
Change the connotation. Sometimes forced inspiration can be good. A person in the pit of depression or grief may not want comfort or guidance at that particular time. A board at school today had this message: "Sometimes we miss the silver lining because we were searching for gold." Follow me here:
While dealing with the recent passing of my friend (see last blog), I would look at his wife's facebook profile. She posted a status update that was saddening. To be honest, 'Til death do they part was not supposed to come this early, right? Then I saw numerous comments from people, giving the usual lines. They are trying to help, I know that. But I think these were just "instinct lines." We are programmed to say these things instantaneously in an attempt to comfort someone. Something bad happens? "There must be a reason," or "All things work together for good." Yes, both are true, but SHUT UP!
Think of Job. When his calamity happened, what his friends did for him at the beginning (before they accused him of everything under the sun) was the best thing anyone can do. They sat with him. And they said nothing. Silence can be golden to the hurting and depressed. Save your words for later, when they are trying to pick themselves back up.
This is when forced inspiration can be good. A smile from a stranger. A smile from a child. Just a simple word, like "I love you. I'm here for you. I prayed for you today." (I phrased it like that because most folks say I'm praying for you and never think about you the rest of the day.)
Philippians 4:8 says: "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." If you're depressed, think of your blessings given by God. If you've lost someone, yes, think of them. At the same time, if they belong to Christ, think of where they are. Remember the past with joy. I know it hurts. My goodness, it hurts. Depression is not a fun thing. Grief is miserable. Forced inspiration can be tough, but it can also give us what we need while here on Earth.

Of Bubba teeth, "Jingle Bells," and falling up stairs

"The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:21 b, ESV)
I would dare say that except for Jenny Quinn fourteen years ago, I have never truly lost someone that I have considered a friend in my life. I've lost grandparents, an aunt and an uncle. None of those losses have impacted me like the one today.
I am proud to be one of the numerous thousands that could consider Tony Greene a friend. Tony died today at 4:25 p.m. He leaves behind a wife, TaRanda, two daughters, Belle and Josie, and memories too varied and numerous to count for whoever harbors them.
He was an excellent businessman, running his own concert promotion business and managing a singing group. He was a funeral director. He had been a music leader in church. He was an excellent singer. My goodness, he was a comedian. He was a great husband, father, brother, uncle...you name it.
Thanks to my brother, I was able to remember the fun times. On a Wednesday night, he stood to lead the music, and sang the songs WEARING BUBBA TEETH. I remember it as vividly as I see the screen in front of me. The songs, I don't remember: I couldn't sing one of them for laughing so hard. "Jingle Bells" was his all-time classic story about the woman wanting this song sang at her husband's funeral, which he did, only for her to realize she meant "When They Ring Those Golden Bells."
My brother and I were with them at a church south of Hickory, NC, for a concert. As they were introduced, Nic Holland, who was filling in for Tim Greene, went up the stairs, but never made it. Tony laughed, snorted, laughed, snorted, until he could no longer contain his snot. It was classic Tony, and Nic did eventually live it down.
I remember nights at Wendy's, Los Arcos in Boone, and meeting him for a sandwich at Hannah's BBQ here in Lenoir. My brother and I ate with them at Outback in Hickory the night wrestler Owen Hart fell to his death (I have a weird way of combining memories). The man knew a good restaurant.
One of his favorite songs I remember was "I Cannot Find the Way Alone" by Albert E. Brumley. I was looking at the words tonight, and have been singing it to myself. I could not do it with the same feeling he could, but it takes me to that special place, with those special people, back many years ago.
Today, God called a special saint home weeks before his 42nd birthday. That is the sad part. Yet consider this-no more dialysis. No more kidney rejection. No more gout. No more pneumonia. No more bus problems. His quality of life is greatly improved. I pray for his family. TaRanda, Belle, Josie, mother Carolyn, Tim and Kim, everyone.
Tonight, when I got out of class, I went to Hannah's BBQ. I decided to have a Chopped BBQ sandwich and Fries in tribute to my friend. I think my brother did the same. The fries were definitely the best I ever had from there. The sandwich was, as well. Farewell, my friend. I will see you in a little while.

Seeking, and Finding. The end of the Church Me series

(I will come up front and say that this is not an original idea for a post. This is actually from something I heard Pastor David Jeremiah mention a couple of days ago on his radio program.)
When people ask where I go to church, they would be surprised to hear me say Charlotte. I go to Elevation Church, where Steven Furtick is the lead Pastor. My wife Sheyna went to the same college that Pastor Steven and his wife Holly attended. She has followed blogs for the church for years, and this Easter, we finally attended. We have gone ever sense.
People ask me about my church. What kind of church is it? Well, it's different. The music is louder than I am accustomed to (they pass out earplugs at the door!), the presentation is different, and everything is well put together. The preaching, most importantly, is TOP-NOTCH. Pastor Steven hits you solidly in the face with the Word of God. He once described it is "old school preaching in a new school way." Is my church seeker-sensitive? No, not in that sense.
This is where the David Jeremiah quote comes in. He mentioned that someone asked him (since his church is on the west coast) if his church was seeker-friendly, seeker-sensitive, or seeker-focused. He then quoted this verse: "For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost." (Luke 19:10, part b, NKJV)
He expounded: Jesus is the seeker. Therefore, are we seeker-friendly? Yes, we try to be a friend to Jesus. Are we seeker-sensitive? Yes, we strive to be sensitive to Jesus, and to the leading of the Spirit. Are we seeker-focused? The older we get, the more we focus on the seeker of the lost, looking for the day of Blessed Hope. (I'm sorry, Pastor Jeremiah, if I completely butchered your thought in the paraphrase.)
The point is this: I go to a church that acts in audacious faith, So that people far from God will be filled with life in Christ. Yes, they do some things a little bit different. However- he word is preached in an unashamed fashion. This is what is drawing people in. They are treated well by a courteous and incredible staff. God is honoring the church, because the honor Him that came to seek and save, and it is evident to all to see.
When I did my "Church Me" blogs last year, I did not imagine I would be in such a church. Now that I am, I can't picture myself anywhere else.

The Unfortunate Tale of Leonard Lopart

That's right. A blog involving the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz, Veggie Tales, and now Handy Manny. What does all this tell me, and what should it tell you?
I NEED TO GET OUT MORE.
But first, a verse from Proverbs: Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall (Prov. 16:18).
It you don't know who I'm talking about, Handy Manny is a show on the Disney Channel. He is a handyman voiced by Wilmer Valderama. He and his talking tools (Pat, Turner, Felipe, Rusty, Turner, Squeeze, Flicker, and Rusty) go around town making repairs, building things, solving problems, and learning lessons along the way. Next door to Manny's repair shop is Lopart's Candy Store, owned by Leonard Lopart. He, and his cat Fluffy are always working on something when Manny goes out on a job. Whenever Manny asks if he needs help, Mr. Lopart refuses. After Manny leaves (and sometimes before), something always happens to him. Mr. Lopart is the comedy relief on the show, it's true. Yet he is a lesson on the human nature and condition.
We all would like to think we are like Manny. We have it all together, we have the tools to do any job, and we rarely get into a situation without panicking. In Manny's world, even when he gets stuck in an elevator, he is calm and collected. He is humble, a good uncle, and a friend to the community of Sheet Rock Hills.
Really, we are more like Mr. Lopart. We always try to do it on our own. We have help right there next to us. Whenever he asks our help, we refuse. Why? We know he can do the job, but we turn him down. We are the result of our own pride, and we allow it to lead to our downfall.
Folks, don't be afraid to ask for help. Our help is right there with us, and He has all the tools to help us succeed. "My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth" Ps. 121:2. The best part of it is, He has given us unlimited access to the tools. All we have to do is ask Him. When pride is out of the way, we succeed in life, and we tend to not find ourselves under a pile on the floor being licked by a cat. "Oh, Fluffy..."

Touched By An Asparagus

What does thirteen years of Christian retail get you?
Sadly, it gets you jaded. You find yourself numb to many things that should really stir your spirit. It is sad, but it is true. I spent ten years with Veggie Tales videos playing in front of my eyes, but I must admit I rarely paid attention to what they said. Now that I have been relieved from the joy of a paycheck, I have a little more time to stop and smell the, no, not roses...
...um...the tomatoes.
Levi has recently decided he wanted to watch a Veggie Tales video. We have a couple here at home. He watched "God Made You Special," which had the stories of "Dave and the Giant Pickle," "Bob's Vacation," "The Gourds Must Be Crazy," and "A Snoodle's Tale" on it. They have been a positive influence on Levi, and blessed influence on me. Thanks to Jimmy Gourd, Levi now has a "Hankering," and yesterday said he was "famished for pizza." He hasn't started singing "Meet Me in St. Louis," but does know the Muffin Man.
I have been profoundly impacted by "A Snoodle's Tale." The lesson it teaches it that what others say about you can weigh you down, and people can use their words and actions to hurt. Yet they do not define who you are. What matters is the picture God paints of you, and his opinion of who you are is what should matter.
What has brought me to tears has been the song at the end of the show, "My Day," sung by Junior Asparagus. In the first verse, Junior has been a good little vegetable, and sings the chorus:
"And so, it's good to know,
How much you love me.
It's true- the Bible says you do,
You really love me.
Your love was with me all throughout my day."
The second verse features Junior having a hard time behaving. Even with this, he can go back and sing that chorus. We fall short, but God still loves us. His love goes with us. He doesn't like to see us fall, but loves us still, and will forgive us.
The last lines just grab me:
"In my bed so quietly
I think of how much God loves me."
Yeah, it's simple. How often are the simple things the most powerful tools God uses? Also to be asked, how did I miss it all those years? Where was my head all the time these videos were playing? Come whay may, thank you, God, for showing it to me now.

Regrets, I've Had a Few

It is a famous line from the Sinatra song "My Way." Even though I probably shouldn't, I love that song. (I will be totally truthful, I don't know where this blog will end up, but stay with me- I'll get somewhere.) In my last post, I mentioned the regret of not going to college after graduation, yet the realization that I did the right thing for me. It isn't my biggest regret. Nor is the fact that my developmental years were fairly sheltered, and I missed a lot of socialization my biggest regret.
No, my biggest regret is that I didn't play high school football.
Hibriten High School, my alma mater in Lenoir, NC, now has one of the top football programs in the state. when I went to school there, it, well, wasn't. In fact, my junior year, it boasted the longest losing streak in the state for one week. Hibriten football won 7 games in the four years I was there. Last year, it won 13.
I wanted to be a part of it. After my freshman year, I entered into the weight program, I worked out after school, went to summer workouts, I wanted to be a part of it. The first official day of practice, I did a drill, and my knee popped out of place. Two guys had already quit; I didn't want to join them. Coach Henson yelled at me, "Get up!" As I did, my knee popped back in place, and I kept going. I made that first week, then full hitting practice started.
I wussed out. Doggone it, I wussed out.
I cried after the first few hits, but kept at it. The following Monday, I decided I wasn't going back. My mom, anxious to not have me hurt, welcomed the decision. I was so immature, so sheltered, I just did not keep the commitment that I had said I would keep. Yet I told myself I would work harder and go back the next year. It didn't happen.
Since then, I promised myself internally that I would be one of the biggest supporters of Hibriten football there was. I can't go to all the games, but I keep close tabs. I am proud of all those guys. I am proud of Coach Lewis and Coach Hobbs, who are still there from my days. I am especially proud of my nephew Chase, a senior on the team. I appreciate all the effort that has been done to make this team a program of continued success that never ceases to amaze me.
Internally, I live with this regret. I was not mature enough to take the pressure that went with playing football. I may not have done the team any good, I realize that. Now I do, anyway. I regret being so selfish and letting people down that expected me to keep a commitment I did not make. So Coach (now Rev.) Dula and Coach Moore, wherever you are, I'm sorry I let you down. To me, I'm sorry I let myself down.
To my God, thank you for not giving up on me when I fail. Thank you for helping me to mature, even though I am nowhere near where I want to be in that process. Thank you for Philippians 1:6: For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus (NASB). Thank you that I can come to You with my regrets, and You give me comfort and peace. This is true of not just trivial regrets. You can bring Him whatever you carry, and He will give you that same comfort. Matthew 11:28 says it all: "Come unto me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (HCSB)."

What I Have in Common with the Scarecrow

I dare say most people have seen The Wizard of Oz. We are familiar with the Scarecrow, the character that longed for a brain. The lesson he learned along his journey with Dorothy and Toto? Beware of green-skinned witches with fire. No, that wasn't it. The lesson he learned was that he was indeed smart, he just hadn't recognized it. He was, in fact, the leader of the pack.
Tuesday starts hopefully the final year of college for me. I have learned many things from going back to school; only a few of them came from the books. I learned that I should have gone back to school a long time ago. At the same time, I have learned that I went back at just the right time. A contradiction, you say? It is, yet it isn't. Let me clarify.
My junior and senior years in high school (1994-95), I received letters from the University of Miami, Michigan, even Oberlin College. (If you have any knowledge of classical music, you would know how STUPID I am for not giving that a second look.) My dream was to be a music teacher, and follow in the footsteps of Mr. Whitener, my favorite teacher. In spite of my guidance counselor's urgings, and the advice of Mr. Carswell, my band director at Hibriten, one of my life's big regrets was that I did not follow up on any of that.
I needed a break from school. I didn't have the drive, the desire, and was simply lazy. It was an opportunity I missed, because I didn't want to take it.
What I did was go to work for a few months in the supermarket I was working in, until I lost my job. Then, I mooched, thinking I would somehow magically be all right. I got part-time jobs, eventually going full-time into Christian retail. It was here I grew in knowledge and skill, working on the side as Music Director in my home church. I met my wife. We had Levi. I enjoyed those moments, and met some great friends. I grew up in the school of hard knocks.
(I did not intend to tell my life's story. I simply wanted to make a point to the faithfulness of God in the life of an ungrateful whelp.)
In 2008, I finally went back to school. I was ready. I appreciate it more. I know that it means more for my future now. Back then, it would have been something to do, and I would have rebelled against it. Now, I am striving, working my tail off, and here it is- the last year for my degree. Tomorrow starts what will be the realization of a dream. I am thankful for the lessons God has taught me in the past fifteen years. I just wish I had learned some of them in 1994. If I only had a brain then.
So yeah, I am a lot like the Scarecrow. Only I can not recite the Pythagorean Theorem.

Get out there and...

I will not deny it. There is a big part of me that thought that when I was let go from my job in April, I would have had another job by now. I guess that a lot of people that are in the same situation have thought the same thing. What made me different from anyone else? I had experience, I had a record of job stability.
Yet here I sit. I am looking at the usual sites, seeing the latest job to apply for, making sure I am qualified, and applying. I wait one more week for my final year of college to start. I am really BORED. I haven't missed many episodes (and reruns) of The Price is Right and Let's Make a Deal. I also haven't missed many episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba, Handy Manny, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Special Agent Oso..., you get the picture.
Being Mr. Mom is great. I will not deny it. I an getting time with my kids that I would not have otherwise had. I love it. We have a routine, and we have fun. But I'm bored. I check the papers, there is nothing in them. Most everything gets posted online now.
I think, in the meantime, I will check for some ways to volunteer my services to help someone. I'm not losing any weight sitting on the couch. In fact, I think I'm wearing in a little groove. It's not healthy, and it's a waste of my abilities. Plus, I've seen everything, and don't want to see anything else.
Who wants me?

(Consider this a keeping up appearances blog. There will be more substance next time.)

And They Will Know We are Christians by Our...

...snide comments made behind each others backs.

Christians would never insult each other, would they? Would they say something to their neighbor about a friend or acquaintance, out of the knowledge or earshot of that person? Would they?
That is what many of us around here call a "phone ministry."
But you know the old joke, and if Aaron Wilburn doesn't mind, I will use it- it's all okay, as long as you say "Bless his heart." Because that means that you think that, but it is for their own good that you're talking about them. Other people need to know what you perceive their flaws are.
James 3:10 says, "Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so." I am guilty of this myself, so if I am calling anyone on the carpet that the color could not be agreed on, it's me.
The modern way of the "phone ministry" is the indirect reference. In your conversation, in your blog, or status updates, it is that "I know a person that..." reference. In other words, I don't want you to know that I actually know this person, even though you may know who it is. But I have an issue, and I want you to know about their flaw. Again, I am a guilty party, and I admit it.
What we need is a little maturity in our lives. Like I said in my last post, I hate confrontation. Yet a little is necessary to grow. If you have an issue with someone, take it to the Lord. Go to that person and air it out. I do not believe that it is possible for everyone to have a perfect, symbiotic, kum-by-yah relationship, nor do I think we should have. What I do think is that if we know where each one stands, we will respect each other more, and it will allow us to grow individually and spiritually. Also, it will grow the church closer to the unity that Christ wants.
And my goodness, our phone conversations will be much more sweeter!

They Will Know We are Christians By Our...

...absolute hatred for each other.
I recently had an email exchange with a Christian author, speaker, and blogger. I stumbled on a tweet he wrote about conservative radio hosts that are going blind and are deaf that was simply tasteless. I called him on it. He responded to my email with venom, defending his "joke". I responded saying I felt bad for him, to which his response was "LOL. Whatever."
This has bothered me. We were saved by the same blood of Jesus. We will go to the same Heaven when we die. We will not go to a separate Heaven based on our denomination, ideology, or church down the street from the church we broke away from. I do not personally like conflict, but I know that when something is dividing us, it needs to be talked out. If someone has an opinion, you can disagree with it, yes, but you do not have to disrespect it. The only time a separation is essential is if it is in disagreement with the Word of God.
To let our disagreements dissolve into hate is simply unacceptable. We can not live in agreement with a brother, therefore we must insult him. In this, we are truly children, and we live with a deficiency of the knowledge of the Word of God. In John 17, Jesus prayed for the unity of the church. There are 66 books that give us instruction in life, leadership, and how to get where we are going. Yet because we are led by our immaturity, our flesh nature, and not by the Spirit, we are divided against ourselves. This is why we are not as strong to reach the world as we should be.

It Just Isn't Going to Happen- and That's Great!

Over a month ago I wrote a blog called "How Can I Miss You..." regarding the Spirit of Christ being in you, even when things are not so good. I want to revisit that in a way, adding something recent based on some scripture I've been reading.
Our pastor this past Sunday encouraged the church to read Romans ch.8 every day for three weeks. Aloud. And, to get the best benefit from it, make it the first thing you do each day. No denying, it is difficult, when the first thing you hear is your children either crying or in the potty to make it the first thing in the morning. I did well the first four days, and day five (tonight) came at 9:45p.m. My wife and I have been writing down what God has shown us each day. This was not mine for today, yet it is something that I want to show you. It is one of the most famous parts of the chapter, and the beginning of the climax to one of the fabulous chapters of the Bible:
"35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?" I was reading it in my NLT Study Bible, and it said it so beautifully: "Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?" I love that! "Does it mean he no longer loves us?" Your situation that you are facing is difficult, yes. No words can minimize the trouble that you may face.
But if you are in Christ, the intended reader of chapter 8, then you may have passed the part that says that we will suffer with Christ. Yet these sufferings are not in comparison with the joy that awaits us (v.17-18). We will suffer many things: joblessness, children with diseases, loss of friendships, loss of a dear one, hunger, despair of great proportions. But the Spirit of God, which raised Christ from the dead, lives in you, Christian (v. 11)! He is not going anywhere! Nothing will separate us from Him or His love! Nothing!
Your despair that you face, He hasn't left you to face it alone. He intends it for your good (v. 28). He is for you (31), not against you. You can stand with confidence. Call on Him in this time. He is not far, and He wants to talk to you. He will comfort you, shelter you, and ultimately, deliver you. But rest assured, He is there, and nothing will tear the two of you apart.

Attack of the Grammar Police

My head is about to explode. I have been reading postings, status updates on Facebook, blogs, just words all over the place, and I can not take it anymore. I place blame on the public school system, of which I am a product.
Too many people depend on these social networks to keep all their friends informed of their lives, yet they do not have a clue of proper punctuation, grammar, or even how to spell. Why I blame public education is this: English classes of my day, and probably present day, spend too little time on grammar and more on reading and symbolism and less on teaching people how to function daily.
I have seen countless examples lately of the southern staple "y'all." Yes, it's Y'all! Y'all is short for "You all." It could not be "ya'll" because the apostrophe would separate a word. If you wonder why your spell check just flashed red, it isn't northern bias, you're wrong!
Too many people do not know the difference between there, their, and they're. "There" is telling where something is happening. "Their" is possessive, and refers to something that belongs to someone. "They're" is "they are." So there!
Really aggravating to me is that people do not know the difference between "to", "too," and "two." "To" is a word that is so multifunctional that is is its own category in the English language. "Too" means also, as well. "Two" is a number. To say "I'm going to" and to say "I'm going too" means two different things. Watch how you type it!
One more, and my rant for tonight will stop. "Your" is possessive. "You're" means "You are." This appears to be the worst offense. It really drives me nuts when I read Facebook posts and I have to read it three times to understand it!
There are more rants, but I will save them for another time. Just to give you a hint: "It's" going to be fun!

Let me give you a good love story

This is actually based upon a status update I placed on Facebook this morning:
I’ve come to realize something about this whole Twilight phenomenon, and why it is so popular. It catches a place in everyone that is looking for true love, which unfortunately there has been an absence of in this world. What Stephanie Meyer does is create a story where a character, Bella, meets and falls for Edward, who promises her true, eternal love.
This is where the story runs awry for me. Edward is a vampire. He has an existence based upon a curse. He loves Bella also, and knows that in order for the two of them to live and love forever, he must also curse her, which is something that he does not want to do. To readers and watchers, that provides a sense of heartbreak, and is carried on until the fourth novel.
This is where my problem with the story lies. The basis of this story rests in an ideology of “this is all there is.” It lives in a world where people live eternally, and are cursed, and those that die are not, yet are. The chance for true forever love is there, yet to have it; one must succumb to a curse. That is almost as saddening to me as the numbers of good people that have been taken in by the evil world of vampires, werewolves, and the like, which act like a “gateway drug” to the truly demonic.
For I know, and believe in my heart, of a true love story. There is One that wants to love you truly, deeply, and forever. His story cannot be found in a Stephanie Meyer novel. Like Edward, there is blood involved, yet we do not have to lose it: He already has. We do not have to die to have a life forever with Him: yet if we do, we never have to part. If we but ask Him, he will live with us, talk with us, and guide us. In this case, the thing holding us back from this perfect love is not His curse: it is ours. Opening our heart and life to Him is what frees us from that curse, and makes us free to love.

Perhaps Not the Best Advice to Give

I was listening to one of those Christian radio stations that is griped about last year this week. The general manager of the station had recorded a quick bit to remind people to donate to the station by asking this:
"Have you ever inserted your name into a scripture?"
He then goes on to use Isaiah 61, inserting the station into the verse, making an impassioned plea for support.
The thought occurs to me: I have never inserted my name into a verse. I've heard many preachers do that to John 3:16. "For God so loved Jonathan, that he gave his only begotten son..." Yeah, I see how that would work for that verse.
But what about other verses? What about Genesis 4:8? "and it came to pass, that when they were in the field, that Jonathan rose up and slew his brother Abel..." -No, that doesn't work.
What about Genesis 39:12? "And she caught Jonathan by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and Jonathan left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out." That doesn't work either. Actually, it puts me in some compromising positions that doesn't really fit me.
So, you can "personalize" the scriptures you use to make the Bible a little more personal. Just be careful which ones you use. Have fun!

You CAN make this stuff up

Tonight a wonderful thing happened. Truly wonderful. I realized today that I am truly blessed. For some reason, while I was realizing this tonight, a conversation popped up in my head that I imagine would have happened between God and me, had I been listening at first. These things are always scary and borderline blasphemous. I promise I will keep it on the up & up.
"Hey God?"
"Yes?"
"Look. I know that you have blessed me to receive a brand new lawn mower..."
"Well, the giver was blessed, and he passed a blessing on to you."
"I would really like to mow the lawn today, too."
"I know. You need to, I've seen it. Some of that grass is taller than your children."
"Yeah..."
"Go ahead. You can ask me."
"Lord, why is it raining?!? I can't mow in the rain!"
"I know you want to get out there. I really want you to. How about if I knock down the dust, and take the temperature down 15 degrees?"
"Oh! That's what the rain is for! OK- that's fabulous. High 70s is better than low 90s when mowing."
"I know."
"Well, thank you again! I'll get as much done as I can."
"You're welcome."
"You know, you're better to me than I realize sometimes."
"I know. That's what I do. How about a little breeze, too?"
"Wow. Thank you."
"Anytime. I mean it. Anytime. You want to talk to me, I'm here."
"I should really talk to you more."
"I know."

Maybe I'm a little punchy

It happens anytime I read. I get so sleepy! I can not explain it, it is a phenomenon. I was reading the Bible tonight, in the book of Mark, and I just started cracking up! I'm talking cackling, looking at Cake Wrecks laughing! So what was I reading?
"32 They brought to Him a deaf man who also had a speech difficulty, and begged Jesus to lay His hand on him. 33 So He took him away from the crowd privately. After putting His fingers in the man's ears and spitting, He touched his tongue. 34 Then, looking up to heaven, He sighed deeply and said to him, "Ephphatha!" (that is, "Be opened!"). 35 Immediately his ears were opened, his speech difficulty was removed, and he began to speak clearly." -from Mark 7, HCSB
I just got the mental picture of Jesus sticking His fingers in this guy's ears and spitting. It didn't say where He spat, but He spat. It didn't even say why He spat, because all He really had to do was say the word. It doesn't say why He touched the man;s tongue. What a picture! What a riot!
It just serves as a reminder to me that God does not always work in the way that we would expect. He may have a whole new way to do it. As it says, His thoughts are not our thoughts, His ways are not our ways. The answer may come in an unusual fashion, but wait- the answer will come. If He needs to stick His fingers in your ears and touch your tongue, be willing to say aaahh.

How Can I Miss you When You Haven't Gone Away?

I am going to get in trouble here. What I SHOULD be doing is working on one of two papers, both due by Thursday morning. At the time of this writing, it is Tuesday evening. Well, like everyone says, I work best under pressure.
What is on my mind tonight is something that has been on my mind since Sunday morning, when my wife and I were listening to Beth Moore on CD on the way to church. I have realized that if you don't go with these urgings, it is hard to reclaim them once they're gone, you miss a blessing, and others that need the message placed in you suffer. So here it goes: I don't remember exactly why she was saying this, but she brought up Colossians 1:27 (NASB)- "to whom God willed to make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." She was talking about the Holy Spirit being the Spirit of Christ, and how when we accept Christ, that Spirit instantly comes in to us. Now Pentecostals, AoG people, let's not get theological here. Let's just go on for this premise: we are filled with the Spirit of Christ.
How then do we ask where is God in a situation? How do we ask why it seems that God is not there? We say we believe in an omnipresent, omnipotent God, and say he is absent. Folks, if you are a saved, committed follower of Christ, and you don't know where He is in the situation you are facing, may I ask you to look in? Then, may I ask you to look around. Re-read Psalm 139: "Where can I go from your Spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence?" (Psalm 139:7, NASB) For the follower of Christ, you that have His Spirit living in you, you bring Him with you into your situation. Do not ask where He is. Ask Him where this is taking you!
The biggest problem is that we do not talk to God enough in the everyday, and hear His voice in the mundane, to know what He sounds like in the times of urgency. When trouble comes our way, we do not know where to turn but to Him. He guides us through, we say "Whew! That was close!" Maybe we thank Him, and we go on. I'm guilty, too. I do not always recognize Him in the everyday. But we all need to know that He is there. He is with us. We do not need to ask Him where He is. We just need to recognize Him.

My One (HA!) Major Flaw

We now present some breaking news from me, because I am the only one that can report it: I am not perfect. This will come to a shock to any of you that know me, I know. I must report to any and all that read this that have once again reacted to a situation before I thought or prayed about my reaction.
The situation is this: I have a family member that is, in many ways, quite like me. This is the primary reason we have rarely ever gotten along. Part if this similarity is our passive-aggressive nature. I can and will hold things in and make flippant remarks after the fact that will cut like a knife. God has been dealing with me in this area of my like, and I like to think I have been better. Yet after this family member posted a Facebook status, I was furious. I was not directly mentioned, but I know it was all about me and my family.
So that you will not totally judge me, I did not comment to the post or post on this person's wall. I sent a private message instead. I did it impulsively, without hesitation. I reacted before I thought.
I guess I could feel good about this character flaw: it makes me more like the apostle Peter. Peter had to be rebuked by Jesus once, admonished another time, and rebutted by God the father on the mount of Transfiguration. Hey, look! I'm like Peter! That must make me a better person!
No, it just makes me flawed, imperfect, and a work in progress. Look at Peter after the denial of Christ. He became a bold preacher, the leader of the early church, the one that took the Gospel to the gentiles, and the subject of many jokes about Heaven.
This is because God worked on him throughout his life. He did not give up on Peter, has not given up on me, and the same is true for you. Likewise, we should not give up on each other. James 1:19 tells us to be a fast listener, slow to speak and to get angry. Even the deepest hurt gives us the chance to show grace to even the least deserving.
So hold on. Give it a moment before you react. When you (I) do, the grace of God shines through our life. When that happens, everyone benefits, and He gets glory.

I need to get past this point

On Wednesday of this week I experienced the most depressing time of my life. With my health insurance on the verge of expiration, I went to the county department of Social Services. I do this with a heavy heart and conscience, because I do not believe in any of this stuff. I do not believe that it is the government's place to take care of the people, it is the place of the community and the church. Yet there I sat, humbled. I do not want to come for the help. However, I do this for my children. I want them to be taken care of.
Whar was so humbling about it? Why was it so depressing? Well, we never look at ourselves as one of those people. Come on. You know what I'm talking about. You look down on them because of their clothes, their appearance, mannerisms, the way they speak, etc. Here I was in waiting rooms and in lines with them. I became one of them, and I was humbled. It did not help that the only magazines in the waiting room were travel and financial magazines- the least of anyone's concerns sitting in that office.
I have been told not to feel bad about asking for the help. I have paid taxes into that system for it to be there for me in a time of need. Perhaps I never thought I would have the need. Perhaps I am too proud to beg. Perhaps I have this deep down feeling that I do not want to be a bother to anyone. Whatever the case, there I was. I feel like I am at a new low in life.
I was actually looking for another verse, but I found Philippians 2:3 in the NLT: "Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves." It says many times that the humble shall be exalted, and the proud shall be humbled. Guess where I am right now?

How Not to Motivate the People

It has become increasingly clear to me that I am not the man I used to be. I can tell that by reviewing my blogs from the past year. I am a traditionalist that likes hymns, a person that is quiet in church, and one that is quite comfortable in my ways. Yet I am in a position of unemployment, not sure where I will work next, when I will work next, and now attending one of the fastest growing churches in America with some pretty loud music. I don't mind- the preaching is quite biblically sound.
So, with me out of my comfort zone, and without a job, what should I do? Should I worry or live my life in fear? Nope. It would be completely unproductive, and would not provide a paycheck for my family. I have thought about it. The idea has entered my head for some of the worst self-help books ever written. One would be "How to Grow Taller by Worrying," and the other would be "Living Your Life Based on What Everyone Thinks About you." Granted, these books may sell more copies than Nancy Pelosi's book did, but they would be equally worthless.
Jesus tackled worry more than once. He asked us how worrying could make us grow any taller, and reminded us how ravens eat, even though they don't do any work, and that the lilies of the field are more finely dressed than Solomon in his day.
The important thing is this: don't worry about your life. It won't help it get any better. Also, don't put any stock into what anyone thinks about you except God. Other people's opinions will only upset you. It will not affect how your family thinks of you, and will not affect who you are in Christ. So let them call you garbage, unhealthy, or whatever they want. You live your life. Trust God. Plug into His word. Then watch as your life flourishes. I'm not saying you'll get rich- I'm saying you'll be more content and enjoy what you have a little bit more.

My Week In Review

Now that I am no longer employed officially, I stand in retrospect. I am reading and following along with a pastor from Charlotte online. While following along (and straying slightly), the Lord revealed this verse to me in my NLT Study Bible. It is 2 Samuel 14:14: "All of us must die eventually. Our lives are like water spilled out on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God does not just sweep life away; instead, he devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from him."
In other words, God, you have my attention. You have had it for several weeks now. Psalm 3:3 says that you are a shield around me, and that you are my glory. and you lift up my head. I lay down my pride. I do not want to do or be apart from you. I let it all go, and I am humbled in your presence. I realized this humility yesterday, and I will walk humble before you. What you have in store for me, I am ready to experience it.
I know you are my provision, Lord. I trust you in the name of Jesus.

How to Win While Losing

It is almost surreal. I am sitting at home today and every other day for the time being. That's right. I am out of a job. I honestly never thought I would lose my job. I prided myself for being the best in my position for the past ten years. I believe I was, too. But situations change, people change, and demands change. In the end, I had to go. There are many more opinions I would like to give, but I can not mention them as of yet.
Why do I feel like this is the best thing that could have happened to me? It feels like it is not right to feel this way. I do get a few more weeks' pay, so that could have something to do with it. When I'm not getting paid, it could be a bit more desperate.
I feel this way because I tried to hold on for so long. My pride caused me to fight for every little inch, hold on to all I could, and put a death grip on all I could.
For this little lesson, I turn to Matthew 16 in the ESV: "25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?"
In my zeal to provide for my family, and in my pride to win, I held on. In every little thing, and this is where God has brought me to in the past two weeks, I have had to let go. I am not the provider for my family: God is. Deuteronomy 8:18 (NLT) says, "Remember the Lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath."
Where do I go from here? Who knows. There may have to be an Aurora, Illinois, or a Greenville, South Carolina in my future. I may not always want that to be the case, but I accept it. For my family and for my God, I accept it. Whatever the case, I lost my battle to hang on to my job. In losing, I have ultimately won. I could not be more relieved or excited.

Message in a Bottle

It is time to admit something about myself: I keep to myself. Many of you know this, and are not shocked by it. Some of you may be. I keep things in that bother me. This is detrimental to my marriage, in that I do not tell my wife. I should come to her with anything, because she is my help meet in life. We should share things openly, and I am not a natural sharer. This is detrimental to my health, and could be one thing, along with lactose intolerance, that affects my stomach.
Most detrimental is the fact that I keep things from my God. I can still remember the time that I recommitted my life to Christ in 1998. I remember the many times that God has spoken to me and given me comfort. I remember church services, a tent meeting at Westview Baptist in Boone, where God just reassured me. I remember being baptized in the creek at Buffalo Cove park, the feeling that the public display of faith gave me, along with the rush of that cold water.
Time passes, life builds, and those memories get suppressed. Packed on top of those are the daily pressures, threats on my job, feelings of anger, hate, and frustration. What do I do with those? I keep them in. I build, like a hot dog in the microwave. We all know what happens if a hot dog gets heated for too long in a microwave, don't we? KABOOM!
This is not how it should be. Psalm 62, verses 7-8 (NLT) say: "7 My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. 8 O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge." What good is a refuge if you don't run to it? What good is an umbrella in the rain if it is closed?
Venting to your friends is good. Like Homer Simpson's computer instructed him on the episode where he gained so much weight he wore a mu mu and worked from home: "Venting Prevents Explosion." Keeping things in the bottle for too long cause the bottle to break, the hot dog to explode, the nuclear meltdown, I could go on. There is no greater friend than Jesus, and he wants to hear from you (me). He also gave us friends to talk to on earth. We can go to these friends and tell them our fears, our dreams, and our troubles. We don't have to explode.
The most important thing is to not keep it bottled in.

This blog is rated PG-13

This morning I was watching Gospel Music Channel during the two hours of the day they actually show music, not Sister Sister. During this, they showed a preview for a new movie called Letters to God. The movie looks good, inspiring, etc., and at the end, it mentioned it was rated PG, and in HUGE letters said "THEMATIC REFERENCES." I have noticed this phrase since 2004, and I can only tell you one thing: Thematic Reference is another word for "THIS MOVIE MENTIONS GOD."
Can you imagine during the heyday of Hollywood in the 1950s & 60s, when such movies like King of Kings and the Greatest Story Ever Told, these titles being rated PG or even PG-13 for "Thematic References?" Even though Jeffrey Hunter's classic portrayal as a blond-haired, blue-eyed Jesus is not totally accurate, it was piercing. It was inspiring. It was Hollywood at its finest. These days, violent movies can get by with a PG rating. Movies that would have been rated R 20 years ago now get a PG or PG-13. Yet we have to be warned when a movie may have Christian undertones? A person can take the name of Jesus in vain, and they won't even blink. Yet a movie can teach a spiritual lesson, and it must be tagged, and audiences must be warned. WHAT A JOKE!
It reminds me of the verse in Luke 9: "For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he shall come in his own glory (verse 26)." Hollywood is ashamed of God. God draws audiences to the theater. Yet they see God as a narrow view in a broad world. They see God as intolerant of many of the lifestyles and the choices they embrace. They slap PG ratings on anything that mentions Him. They despise God.
Talk about a narrow view and intolerance. Hollywood, nothing will wake you up until that final day. God will be ashamed of you. I cringe at that thought.