On Wednesday of this week I experienced the most depressing time of my life. With my health insurance on the verge of expiration, I went to the county department of Social Services. I do this with a heavy heart and conscience, because I do not believe in any of this stuff. I do not believe that it is the government's place to take care of the people, it is the place of the community and the church. Yet there I sat, humbled. I do not want to come for the help. However, I do this for my children. I want them to be taken care of.
Whar was so humbling about it? Why was it so depressing? Well, we never look at ourselves as one of those people. Come on. You know what I'm talking about. You look down on them because of their clothes, their appearance, mannerisms, the way they speak, etc. Here I was in waiting rooms and in lines with them. I became one of them, and I was humbled. It did not help that the only magazines in the waiting room were travel and financial magazines- the least of anyone's concerns sitting in that office.
I have been told not to feel bad about asking for the help. I have paid taxes into that system for it to be there for me in a time of need. Perhaps I never thought I would have the need. Perhaps I am too proud to beg. Perhaps I have this deep down feeling that I do not want to be a bother to anyone. Whatever the case, there I was. I feel like I am at a new low in life.
I was actually looking for another verse, but I found Philippians 2:3 in the NLT: "Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves." It says many times that the humble shall be exalted, and the proud shall be humbled. Guess where I am right now?
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