- I believe the Bible is inerrant, infallible, and that the God of the Bible is the one true God.
- I believe that God sent His son into the world to save the world from sin.
- I believe that often Christians are the greatest obstacle that keeps people from Christ because they often speak in ignorance.
- I believe the PC crowd does not know any of the names of holidays that take place from November 1- December 26.
- I believe that just because you don't call a holiday by its actual name that it is diminished in any way.
- I believe the designated hitter has done very little to strengthen the American League.
- I believe the South was justified in seceding from the Union in 1860 & 1861. However, I believe their position on slavery was based in misinterpretation of scripture and ignorance.
- I believe that improper use of apostrophe's is becoming an epidemic, and grammar teacher's are doing little to curb it.
- I believe that if you cannot drive more than 10 m.p.h. under the speed limit (especially at night) YOU SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING!
- I believe that NASCAR will be watchable again now that someone other than Jimmie Johnson will win the championship.
- I believe that the things that I have agreed with President Obama on can be counted on one hand without using all the fingers. That said, he is our president, and deserves our prayers.
- I believe Southern Gospel Music has been forever marred in quality and style due to a raging infection of Crabbs.
- I believe the MAC has some of the best football in all of college football, partly due to the lack of great defense.
- I believe that, win totals aside, Dean Smith is the best coach ever in college basketball.
- I believe the NBA does not deserve another chance on my part.
- I believe that Psych is the most underrated show on TV, and that the Mentalist is a direct ripoff of it.
- I believe that as much as they try to get soccer to catch on in the US, it won't.
- I believe that if people stopped caring what other people thought about them and just did what they were supposed to, we would have a lot less trouble.
- I believe I do not get enough sleep.
- I believe that no matter what cable news network I watch, I get mad.
- I believe I can't think of any more of these right now.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Statements of belief
I would like to start this by first apologizing to the guys of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour: I am not trying to steal your bit. That said, I thought I would take a half-serious yet half-jovial attempt to allow you readers to know a little of who I am. You know, the chance to know what I truly believe.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Church Signs: God vs. Grammar
I have always said the Gospel is powerful. It is even more powerful when spelled correctly. Where I live there are an abundance of churches. Many of these were started down the road from another church where some of the members got angry and split. Some of these were started after someone that thought they were hearing from God decided they needed to start a church with only their family attending.
Whoa- did I get off on a tangent? So unlike me! Let's get back on track, because this blog is meant for fun and instruction. I want these churches to genuinely reach souls for God, but their error needs to be pointed out because it's just funny.
For example:
Now- you read this and you think There-no, not there, just over to the right, yeah. Right there. A Heaven to gain. But how do you shoun? I have no idea. I had a French teacher in 5th grade, Ms. Shoun. Maybe she knows how to do it. You see, if you were completely unfamiliar with the phrase (THERE'S a Heaven to gain and a Hell to SHUN), you would have no clue with what they were trying to say.
Next:
O. O. Oh, O-kay. I get it. The context with this current phrase is nothing is to big for my God. To being a helping verb to the obvious verb big. So what does it mean to big? I have no idea. Maybe it is a new slang term, and this church is really on top of things. For me, if it said "Nothing is TOO big for my God, I might understand.
Another one that, doggone it, they changed the sign before I got a picture of it- picture this now-
"JESUS" DONE HIS JOB- HAVE YOU DONE YOUR?
Have I done my what? Taxes? The errors are many. And yes, the letters were in red, just like that.
One more that I saw several months ago, but I don't have a picture because I haven't had to be in that part of the county for some time:
"WITHOUT THE BREAD OF LIFE YOUR TOAST"
Knowing that your is a possessive word I contemplated this sign after passing it. "My toast is what? Burnt? Most likely. Stale? Possibly. Covered in apple butter? Yum! When you write it like that, I guess it does leave you to think more than if you spell "YOU'RE" correctly.
Well, that's enough offensive fun for now. If you have seen any such signs, leave them in the comments. Maybe I will do another edition of this.
Whoa- did I get off on a tangent? So unlike me! Let's get back on track, because this blog is meant for fun and instruction. I want these churches to genuinely reach souls for God, but their error needs to be pointed out because it's just funny.
For example:
Now- you read this and you think There-no, not there, just over to the right, yeah. Right there. A Heaven to gain. But how do you shoun? I have no idea. I had a French teacher in 5th grade, Ms. Shoun. Maybe she knows how to do it. You see, if you were completely unfamiliar with the phrase (THERE'S a Heaven to gain and a Hell to SHUN), you would have no clue with what they were trying to say.
Next:
O. O. Oh, O-kay. I get it. The context with this current phrase is nothing is to big for my God. To being a helping verb to the obvious verb big. So what does it mean to big? I have no idea. Maybe it is a new slang term, and this church is really on top of things. For me, if it said "Nothing is TOO big for my God, I might understand.
Another one that, doggone it, they changed the sign before I got a picture of it- picture this now-
"JESUS" DONE HIS JOB- HAVE YOU DONE YOUR?
Have I done my what? Taxes? The errors are many. And yes, the letters were in red, just like that.
One more that I saw several months ago, but I don't have a picture because I haven't had to be in that part of the county for some time:
"WITHOUT THE BREAD OF LIFE YOUR TOAST"
Knowing that your is a possessive word I contemplated this sign after passing it. "My toast is what? Burnt? Most likely. Stale? Possibly. Covered in apple butter? Yum! When you write it like that, I guess it does leave you to think more than if you spell "YOU'RE" correctly.
Well, that's enough offensive fun for now. If you have seen any such signs, leave them in the comments. Maybe I will do another edition of this.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Instant Jesus and Microwave Faith (aka Hocus Jesus)
With recent changes in my schedule I have found myself with a span of 2 hours with nothing to do in the morning. So, I have made a good decision: I have started doing some walking. When they get the showers installed at my workplace, I may (SHUDDER) even start jogging. I am doing this in North Wilkesboro on the Yadkin River Greenway. It's a nice trail, running almost 1.5 miles by the Yadkin and Reddies Rivers. I have a good time doing it every day I get out there- up until I make my way back and I see a marker telling me I have 1 mile to go. Walking 3 miles a day isn't always easy, and I truly learn to persevere. I want to stop, I want to quit. But the Greenway doesn't loop, and there are no golf carts parked along the way to take me back. The other people on the path don't know who I am. How do I get back to my car? I have to keep going.
What in the world does this have to do with my title? Keep following.
Another thing that I have been dealing with is a major toothache since July. I have struggled with it especially in the last 4 weeks, when stabbing pains have attacked me while I sleep. I would wake up in tremendous pain, and would instantly start praying for God to touch me. You know what? I would not always get instant relief.
What does that mean? Does that mean God can't heal me? Does it mean He doesn't care? Does that mean He isn't there? Nope, none of these are true. He is acquainted with our sufferings, familiar with our grief. He loves us, and doesn't want us to suffer. But he does want us to grow.
I have seen some people call out to Jesus and seen instant change. I've heard of the doctor's reports of fabulous healing that reason cannot explain. But things are not always instant. To some healings there are no shortcuts. God has given men great knowledge to set limbs, create casts, and make some incredible medicines. After recent issues, Tramadol is one that comes to mind. Augmentin is another. Sometimes the best course of healing is the natural course, and through this God teaches us patience and perseverance.
This is where faith healers have done us a disservice. Many think that just because they asked Jesus to touch them once and He didn't, it isn't true or He doesn't care. They think this in other areas, such as struggling at work, or looking for work, or elsewhere. They use the name of Jesus as a magic word, and when they don't get the instant results, they go away. In other ways, they wonder why God doesn't help them win the lottery (yes, it's true). They wonder why their relationship has not changed. They prayed one time, and have received no results. This isn't faith; this is Hocus Pocus, breathe a prayer and hope it works, and that doesn't cut it.
Like when I have a mile to go, the only way to get to the end is to keep going. Keep praying for the job to come, and continue your search. Keep praying for provision, and quit playing the lottery- the odds are against you. Take the medicine the doctor gave you. Keep going- He will sustain along the way.
What in the world does this have to do with my title? Keep following.
Another thing that I have been dealing with is a major toothache since July. I have struggled with it especially in the last 4 weeks, when stabbing pains have attacked me while I sleep. I would wake up in tremendous pain, and would instantly start praying for God to touch me. You know what? I would not always get instant relief.
What does that mean? Does that mean God can't heal me? Does it mean He doesn't care? Does that mean He isn't there? Nope, none of these are true. He is acquainted with our sufferings, familiar with our grief. He loves us, and doesn't want us to suffer. But he does want us to grow.
I have seen some people call out to Jesus and seen instant change. I've heard of the doctor's reports of fabulous healing that reason cannot explain. But things are not always instant. To some healings there are no shortcuts. God has given men great knowledge to set limbs, create casts, and make some incredible medicines. After recent issues, Tramadol is one that comes to mind. Augmentin is another. Sometimes the best course of healing is the natural course, and through this God teaches us patience and perseverance.
This is where faith healers have done us a disservice. Many think that just because they asked Jesus to touch them once and He didn't, it isn't true or He doesn't care. They think this in other areas, such as struggling at work, or looking for work, or elsewhere. They use the name of Jesus as a magic word, and when they don't get the instant results, they go away. In other ways, they wonder why God doesn't help them win the lottery (yes, it's true). They wonder why their relationship has not changed. They prayed one time, and have received no results. This isn't faith; this is Hocus Pocus, breathe a prayer and hope it works, and that doesn't cut it.
Like when I have a mile to go, the only way to get to the end is to keep going. Keep praying for the job to come, and continue your search. Keep praying for provision, and quit playing the lottery- the odds are against you. Take the medicine the doctor gave you. Keep going- He will sustain along the way.
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