Addressing a common misconception

This may be considered a break from the normal postings you see on the Wide Scope, but there is a serious problem that I have to address. You see, there is a word that is common in the English language that receives constant abuse. It is quite common in its usage, and is a popular thing for people to talk about, especially in the summer. The saddest part of all is, most people that use the word in error have no idea they are doing it, in spite of television shows determined to help people understand the error of their ways.
What is this word that has me so riled up this hot Thursday evening?
Barbecue.
Barbecue is NOT A VERB! Barbecue is a NOUN!
More specifically, barbecue is a noun describing a type of food. Barbecue does NOT EVER refer to a piece of equipment used for preparing meat or vegetable products.
In its truest form, barbecue refers to pork shoulder, beef brisket, ribs, and occasionally chicken smoked for hours at a time. Since I am in western North Carolina, barbecue refers to pork with a lovely ketchup based sauce. Eastern NC, it's vinegar based, and that does have its place. In South Carolina, it's mustard-based, and that does have a special place in my heart - - er, stomach.
Barbecue is not something you do, nor is it a piece of equipment. The word you are looking for in that instance is the word GRILL. You GRILL hamburgers and hot dogs. You place the vegetable skewers on the GRILL. Another word you may be looking for is COOKOUT. In other words, you do not have A barbecue. You have BARBECUE.
Also, barbecue can be considered an adjective, when used to describe certain styles of sauce or meat that has been smoked when describing the animal that was smoked, but that is the only exception I will make to this rule.
The most common offenders to this are yankees, northerners, and people in the west coast. I pray God forgive them for the folly of speaking in this fashion.
I thank you for your indulgence in this blog. I hope you had fun. Now, join me in celebrating the truth by having some wonderful barbecue!