My wife showed me a blog last week from Stuff Christians Like. It’s one of our favorite blog sites online. Check it out at stuffchristianslike.blogspot.com. The gist of it was “Are you a Christian Culture Snob” with a point system to determine if you are.
Well, I am not a snob.
I am a cynic.
Only after taking that quiz, fresh off the heels of my Christian Radio rant that was my last posting, did I realize how far gone I am. That also got me thinking. If I want a change, I have to put out some guidelines, some ways I would change things. So, here are my “Rules for Christian Radio.”
1. 4Him has retired. Their music should also be. It is dated, and it is cliché. Do you still play Larry Norman, or 2nd Chapter of Acts? Let them go, please.
2. Phillips, Craig, and Dean have not retired, but they should.
3. Crystal Lewis released better songs than “God’s Been Good to Me.” Find them and play them.
4. Avalon’s music has a shelf life of five years. After five years any of their CDs should be shredded.
5. It is perfectly fine to play Big Daddy Weave’s cover of Rich Mullins’ “Hold Me Jesus.”
6. Michael English has been forgiven by God and is redeemed. It is OK for Christian radio to forgive him and play his music, as well.
7. DJs that do promos must pass a stringent test of coolness.
8. DJs that tell jokes must pass a doubly stringent test.
9. I enjoy hearing inspirational thoughts from Max Lucado, just not the same one every hour, and not the same one all month. They send you a bunch of these, please mix them up.
10. Unless it is a purposeful double play, and you state it as such, please do not play the same artist twice in one hour! Just to be clear as well: playing the artist at 11:55 and again at 12:15 is within the same hour!
11. Lastly and very important: it is a service to the listeners and to Christian retail stores to tell who is singing the song and the title more frequently. I could write a page with the stories I’ve witnessed on this topic alone.
Southern Gospel is a stagnant form of Christian music that has its own special set of radio stations, and gets a special set of rules all its own.
1. See rule #1 in the above list and reverse it. Many groups like the Cathedrals and Bishops were far better than the groups touring today. Please play their music.
2. Watch the terminology when playing older music. A song from 2004 is not an “oldie.” A song from 1994, well, maybe. Give it at least 20 years before you call it an “oldie”. ON second thought, don’t call it an “oldie” at all. See above rule #7, and call them “classics.”
3. Recognize that only a few groups today are actually, well, good. This short list includes the Gaither Vocal Band, Talley Trio, Greenes, Booth Brothers, Greater Vision, Primitive Quartet, and Inspirations, plus a few more. Centering your playlist around such groups will ensure a happy listener base.
4. See rule #6 in the above list. Along with Michael English, God has redeemed Kirk Talley. Get your head out of that hole in the ground and play his music!
5. Crabbs are a disease. They are loud, and they are too "showy". If not controlled, they can overrun a station.
6. Any singer that states in their bio that they “sound like” another singer should be avoided like the plague.
Careful following of these rules by radio stations can ensure that they do not get stuck in a rut of playing bad music, annoying listeners, or causing listeners to do drastic things like poking sharp objects in their ear or changing the station. It might also keep me off of the classical station more.
