The #1 Proof that God is Good to Me

Last night I took part in a fantasy football draft. I have been in the same league with the same guys since 2003. We have a lot of fun, and I have won 3 league titles. Just saying.
Last week started the High School football season in North Carolina. Preseason NFL football has two more weeks before the regular season starts, and College football starts next week.
What am I saying?
I am a man. Red-blooded, overweight, and have a favorite flavor of wing. I love football. Football season has started. What I am saying is: for the next 6 months, my wife will miss me.
So I thought I would spend a moment to tell all of you how wonderful my wife is.
We will be married nine years this October. She has brought more out of me than anyone else has. She is the mother of two wonderful children (even on THOSE days), and my biggest fan. She is quick to tell me that I have what it takes when I have a job to do, and seeks to give me confidence and inspiration even when I don't feel it or don't have it. She is quite a Godly woman, ready to pray at the drop of a hat, and is very spiritually sensitive.
This year she followed the leading of the Spirit of God and decided to start homeschooling our children. Levi is in first grade this year, and Sophie is 2, so she gets some preschool. I will admit that I figured it would be easier than it actually is. I mean I used to work in a place that sold homeschool curriculum. Just buy a pack and away you go, right?
WRONG.
What if your curriculum doesn't match your child's learning style? What if your child is hyperactive (and he is)? What will work best?
These are just a smattering of the questions a homeschool parent has to answer, and she has worked long and hard to answer them. I have helped, of course, and will do everything I can for her. But she has poured her heart and soul into making sure our children have everything essential to get a quality education. Also, it keeps them out of public school, which in this day and age should rarely ever be an option.
Maybe I'll put some pics of our classroom up. But the main gist of this blog is this: I have the best wife anyone could ask for. I admire her heart, her desire for the best for her family, her sacrifice, and her willingness to obey what God wanted for her family. This is proof that God is good to me- she told me "I do."
Sheyna, you are the best!
I will see you after the Super Bowl.

Projects and projections

I have been working on some different things, and I wanted to give you a quick update.
Thanks to a few programs, free downloads, and the fact that I am pretty good with Microsoft PowerPoint, here is my first video created from recordings of my time with the Hibriten High School Band:

I'm also excited about some of the things that God has been teaching me. If I can get it put together, I believe it will be a blessing to many of you.
All I can say is stay tuned!

Looking with a different perspective- - a.k.a...

...God is not your ATM.
I have been doing some heavy reading this past week. The book of choice? The Pursuit of God, by A.W. Tozer. It has really helped to stir some things inside me, and some things I hadn't even read in the book. The second chapter regards how possessions should not be in the place of God. While I read it, it made me think about something very important.
How many of us "serve God" simply for what we can get out of it?
I'm serious. I have been reading the book of Hebrews and getting my soul stirred this past week. I started reading this book, and what I've come to realize is that I have to want to love God, and God alone, for what He is. If I want to love God for what it gains me, then I do not really love God. I love the benefits of loving God.
It reminds me of a line from the 2003 movie "A View From the Top" (if you've never seen it, don't go looking for it). Mike Myers' character says the most famous line from the movie: "You have the wrong emPHASis on the wrong SylLABle."
How many times have we read Matthew 6:33 (ESV) like this? "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, AND ALL THESE THINGS SHALL BE ADDED TO YOU."
How about Psalm 37:4 (NASB)? "Delight yourself in the Lord; AND HE WILL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART."
One more- Philippians 4:19 (KJV): "But my God SHALL SUPPLY ALL your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus."
See where I put the emphasis? That's where so many of us have that emphasis. True, the Psalms tell us to forget not His benefits (Psalm 103:2), but we aren't supposed to only serve Him for those benefits.  That would be like marrying someone for their looks, or because their family is rich. What do you get? An armpiece and an inheritance. But there is no love there. 
God is not your ATM, and He is not your Sugar Daddy. Jesus didn't die so you could avoid overdraft fees.
(Wow, that was good! I'll have to remember that one!) You have to want to know God, earnestly seek after Him. Ask Him to break your heart with love for Him, to show you fresh what Jesus did for you by His sacrifice. Then your emphasis will be in the right place. "SEEK FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS," DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD," etc.
What I honestly want in my life right now is to honestly know God. I want to develop a deeper love for Him, and to know Him more. I want to delight in Him, and to seek what I can do for Him for the sake of His kingdom. He will then be the desire of my heart. In Him I will have everything I need.
I don't know how that will change me, but it can only be for the better.

Statements of belief, part 2

First, I apologize for the two month hiatus. I have had to have a mental break, and to be honest, have worked a lot of overtime at night. I'm mentally very tired, and the inspiration has not been there. I will endeavor to be back, and try to make it weekly if I can help it.
Second, I would like to apologize once again to those legendary "Blue Collar" comics, because I am once again stealing their shtick.
I believe that people that drive pickup trucks with a camper on them have given up on ever going the speed limit again.
In that same vein, I believe that the people that do not drive pickups with campers drive the largest vehicles that can be purchased.
I also believe that Ford's decision to stop making the Crown Victoria and the Mercury Grand Marquis equals age discrimination.
I believe that Walmart puts "Enter" and "Exit" above their doors for a reason. If you do not go in or out the right door, I will get in your way.
I believe that smugness is a quality that should be abhorred by every person, and that the smug should be smacked.
I believe chocolate should be in integral part of the food pyramid, or one of the food groups. (Do they still have the food groups, by the way?)
I believe Liam Neeson is an incredibly good actor. If you don't believe that, he will find you, and he will kill you.
I believe that if you take a car to get repaired for the third time for the same issue they should give you a new one. They do that for appliances if it's under warranty.
I believe that voting against a person is never the way to vote. If a person must be defeated, then there must be something about his opponent that should be supported. Otherwise, there is no foundation for voting.
I believe Ron Paul supporters should give it up and look at the bigger picture.
I believe Burger King has a true identity crisis.
I believe that Hollywood still has no original ideas. They're remaking Total Recall, for crying out loud.
Conversely, I believe Dallas is can't miss TV.
That's because I don't believe it is a remake because many of the characters are reprising roles. It's a re-launch.
I believe that superhero movies continue to improve.
I believe that Tim Burton has some secret footage of Johnny Depp, and that's why he keeps making his movies.
I believe that's enough for now. I'm going to watch the end of Batman Begins on FX.

My Way Is His Way

Let's start with this video. It's a bit dated, as the striped shirts and banded collars will indicate. You can listen as you read. First, from the book of Mark:
"Now they came to Jericho. As He went out of Jericho with His disciples and a great multitude, blind Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, sat by the road begging. And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, 'Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!'
Then many warned him to be quiet; but he cried out all the more, 'Son of David, have mercy on me!' So Jesus stood still and commanded him to be called.
Then they called the blind man, saying to him, 'Be of good cheer. Rise, He is calling you.' And throwing aside his garment, he rose and came to Jesus.
So Jesus answered and said to him, 'What do you want Me to do for you?'
The blind man said to Him, 'Rabboni, that I may receive my sight.' Then Jesus said to him, 'Go your way; your faith has made you well.' And immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus on the road" (Mark 10:46-52).
Bartimaeus inspired me as I was reading through this. Here was a guy that was motivated. He knew of Jesus, though he hadn't ever seen Him. The Bible doesn't say if he was blind since birth; we just know that he was blind. But even though he had never seen Jesus, he had heard the good news of Jesus. He knew that Jesus could heal him. So when he got the opportunity to meet Jesus, he didn't pass it up. (Preachers, there's a sermon for you.)
I also learned from Bartimaeus is that you don't let anyone keep you from Jesus. Notice that as he is calling out for Him, the people are telling him to be quiet. He was not about to let his opportunity to meet Jesus go away. We receive pressures today from a world that is far from sensitive to Jesus. We want Him out of the spotlight, we minimize Him, trivialize Him, treat Him like a cartoon figure, or give Him less power than He has. Don't let that pressure keep you from realizing that He is what you need, and He will answer you if you call on Him.
The main things I noticed were:
When we come to Jesus in faith, we must expect a change. Bartimaeus knew about Jesus. Too many people had been healed, lives had been changed, and His fame went everywhere. That's why deep down he knew- he must get to Jesus. He will change me.
A side note- some things hold us back from the change we come for. Earlier in the chapter, the young rich man came asking what he needed for eternal life. Jesus told him to sell his riches and give to the poor. He walked away. His riches and his "good" life here were more important to him than the truly good life there.
Lastly- When He changes us, we cannot go back to our old way. Notice the end of the story. Jesus told Him to go his way. Bartimaeus began to follow Jesus. In other words, his way was God's way. 
Think of Ruth. When she had nothing left, she went with Naomi, saying essentially the same thing. Think of the Wise Men. When they went to Jesus, they went back home a different way. When God changes you, when you immerse yourself in Him, that's when the true change begins. You can't live the life you did before. You read His word, it shows the way to live. It shows what God expects. It shows what needs to change in you, and what of your lifestyle needs to go away.
That is the change in me. I can't have the friends that I did before. I don't have the opinions that I used to have. My life and my decisions are based on the infallible Word. I remember the time God revealed Himself to me and showed my my need for Him. I am thankful for my decision to follow Him. I am proud to say that My way is His way. Or His way is my way. I'm not perfect, by any means. But thankfully He is, and my trust is in Him.

"An enemy has done this."

This past Sunday I was reading Matthew in between calls at work. I was in Matthew 13, reading the parable of the weeds:
    "He put another parable before them, saying, “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed in his field, but while his men were sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat and went away. So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared also. And the servants of the master of the house came and said to him, ‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have weeds?’ He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ So the servants said to him, ‘Then do you want us to go and gather them?’ But he said, ‘No, lest in gathering the weeds you root up the wheat along with them. Let both grow together until the harvest, and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Gather the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.’”
(Matthew 13:24-30 ESV)
That phrase really stood out to me in this instance. It has burned in my mind for days. Jesus explained it as a parable for the end of the age. But I have been seeing it in another light. Now obviously the wheat represents the believer in Christ. They are growing in the field. But their life does not stay isolated for long. Questions came up to me:
1: What has the enemy done?
He infiltrated. In this stage, weeds and wheat look very similar. They grow close together. They come in where they cannot easily be eliminated without damaging the wheat. In our world, it can look like a believer in Christ, but not completely following everything that the Bible says. It can be an attack on our character. It can be an attack on our marriage. He sneaks in at night to steal, kill, and destroy. He has many weapons at his disposal, and among the toughest is the "coexistence" that wheat and weeds have together.
2: How did the Master react?
Calm assessment and eventual judgment. He didn't burn the field; He didn't panic. He stepped back, saw what happened, and declared the best solution for the problem.
God has seen your situation. He knows that you may be hurting. A loved one may be about to depart this world. One may have just walked out on you. You may be tempted to give up on everything. He has a plan for you in this, though.
3: What is the wheat to do?
Grow. That's all it is asked to do. It is not easy. Weeds have a specific purpose. They steal nutrients from the wheat that prevent it from growing like it is intended to. Some weeds choke life out of plants. Wheat needs to stand (Ephesians 6) in the sun (or Son), soak it in (get engrossed in the Word, in prayer, and with other believers), and GROW. The rest of the Master's plan (eventual judgment) will soon take place.
4: What will happen?
At the end, the weeds will be taken, bound, and thrown in the fire. Weeding can be a difficult thing for the gardener, and can be annoying. But it is rewarding for the gardener when the finished work of the garden is revealed. Jesus tells His disciples when He explains the parable that like when the wheat will be gathered into the barn "Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father" (verse 43). Wheat, when it has grown and is ready for harvest, is a thing of beauty. Golden, amber waves...like when Job said "But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold"(Job 23:10 ESV).
Long story short: God knows about the attack. He was not caught off guard. He is not unfeeling; but the situation has not given Him cause for concern. Trust His plan and grow. He will at the right time make all things right.

I've Waited Two Years to Write This Post

On April 12, 2010, I turned 33 years old.
On April 13, 2010, I was released from my job of 10 years.
I have chronicled on here the ensuing 9 months of unemployed life. There was a lot of growing both mentally and spiritually during that time. I can look back and say it was for my good. But I haven't spoken much about what happened two years ago.
This was because of an agreement I signed that day saying that I would hold my peace for two years. Well those two years are up. Today I can now speak about it.
I was the first employee hired when Family Christian Stores opened a location in Hickory, NC in 2000. The location of that store was ideal for that type of business, and it was an answer to prayer to get that job. I owe a lot of good things in my life to working at that store. I met a lot of people that are still my friends today. I met my wife because of that store. It was a literal dream come true to work there.
In time, things changed. The company changed leadership in 2002. In 2003, longtime rumors became true when the company announced it was opening on Sunday. They found a theologian to back them in saying it was okay Biblically, and announced it to us in June. They said essentially it was a "missed opportunity for ministry," and that the focus on Sundays would always be ministry. We would be open limited hours, so it would not greatly affect our employees church attendance, etc.
They never openly admitted it, but the company lost 1/4 of its employees because of that. One store on Georgia had to replace its entire staff.
Over time Sundays became another day to sell things and make goals. Our store even opened for an extra hour, meaning someone was missing church.
Let's just say the changes started to fray some friendships. From then until my departure, working there became a personal hell. I use that word intentionally.
From 2004-06, I was demeaned by a new manager that sought to get rid of me, knew nothing about Christian Retail, and would use language that would make "Stone Cold" Steve Austin blush. She was only hired because she had management experience. The Christian part didn't matter. She was eventually fired after transferring to another store for inappropriate behavior.
I would become very familiar with corporate buzzwords. "Opportunity" was another word for failure or mistake. "Suggested" items meant mandatory items. "Goal" meant sales quotas. "Accountability" meant micromanagement to the nth degree. It became quite an exacting corporate culture.
I know add-on sales are a part of every retail store's marketing scheme. It's why there's gum & candy at grocery checkouts. It's why they have pens at the checkout at Staples. For us, your checkout meant the start of our sales pitch. First, we had to pitch Member's Only titles- A selection of items (it originally started as 1 title a month) for $5 each. We had to sell these to 1 out of every 4 customers. Next came Pre-buys: advanced selling of new books, movies, or CDs. We had to have a percentage. Next we had to sign people up for our Credit Card. Dave Ramsey didn't care for that one. We eventually got rid of that, but replaced it with child sponsorships through a global relief organization.
(Now, this is a big commitment. Deciding to spend $30 (later $35) a month on a child in Ghana or wherever is not an impulse decision. It's not something you should be pushed or pressured into. But we had to.)
It got so bad that if you didn't make your goals for these things, you were written up. Three strikes, you were out. Fired from an atmosphere of "love." It didn't matter if you knew everything about the Bible, could recommend a book, or knew everything about Christian music. If you didn't meet your goals, you were out. I saw too many people leave this company in that way. All the while we would bring in questionable movies to sell, but they were okay, because they were "family" movies, and they taught a lesson, even if it wasn't Biblical.
But I didn't get fired for that. No- My position- - which started out as a full-time position, and needed a dedicated full-time person, became part-time. I worked a few hours in my position, then worked on the sales floor. I sacrificed, worked various hours, and did what was asked of me.
That Tuesday morning, I was presented with my walking papers. No negotiation, no time to talk it over. I was done. They decided that part-time people should do my job. Makes sense financially- they can pay them less than I made, even though I hadn't had a raise in four years, and they don't have to dish out full-time insurance. I signed an agreement not to mention any selling practices or discourage anyone from going to work for Family for two years.
Yes, I was afraid. But I was relieved. Oh, I was so relieved. God used that for me in so many ways. I got to be there for the majority of my daughter's first year of life. I got to spend a great amount of time with my son. I felt a major burden lift from me. And I guess I grew up a little.
I dealt with bitterness and with a distaste for Christian retail in general for a time after that. I had to learn to forgive the people that I thought wronged me. I went back in that store once after that to say hey to old friends. Almost everyone is gone now- either fired or quit voluntarily. I will not go back in there again, or to any other Family Christian Store. There are better alternatives, companies that are actually concerned with serving the customer, not just emptying their wallets.
(One more note: as I got in the car and turned on the radio, the Christian band Bluetree was playing. The first words I heard were :
"Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city." 

It was God's way of saying He was only getting started using me.)