Surviving - What My Day Looks Like

This is something I posted in a community in my workplace that I have found, taken over, and am growing. The name of the community is Working With Anxiety and Depression, and we are helping people to know that they are not alone:

So This is a calendar that my wife bought me on Valentine's clearance. It's a huge notepad, broken into weeks. It works great as an organizer for my day and my thoughts. I get to write down my break and lunch schedule and time for any projects, and I also include my daily side tasks:

• Daily reading from Psalms or Proverbs and reading the New Testament through in the year
• Posting the verse of the day on the Lowe's Christian Community from VerseOfTheDay.com
• Posting a blog post in this community, Working With Anxiety and Depression

And that fourth one is the most important:
Survive.
If I could list my myriad problems here, you would be like "Oh, brother. We're done."
But let's just say this. That last one is the most difficult one for me to get through this day. As I near 40 in about two weeks, I think about my routine more. I take more prescriptions than before. I think about why I don't read books like I used to, make videos like I used to, how many unfinished tasks I have, good grief, when is the next call from one of our stores going to come in, are they going to about the same item that every one else is, are they going to ask for an item without having sold it yet, are they going to say they're calling from one of our stores, which is obvious, and absolutely drive me nuts, what are my kids doing, is my wife happy with me, how is my dad, is anyone else getting laid off in the name of evolving...
Yeah, I think about all that.
That's why surviving is the hardest part of the day. That's why this is so hard to write.
I'm trying to hang in there. Hang in with me.

Living Someone Else's Dream

A couple of weeks ago I was at work and noticed that in one of the break rooms they had put out a note pad. Someone asked "How are you doing?" which got a couple of responses, kind of a way to put out there communications between people that would otherwise not talk.
A small gesture, but anyway...

On the second page, there was a quote on there, someone trying to put out some encouraging platitudes: “Race the wind, blah blah blah, follow your dreams.”

Below that was found this response: “Sorry I’m not as chipper as you. But as long as I work here, I’m following someone else’s dream.”

I was captured by that, because that is, in essence, me. I am following, I am living someone else's dream.
My time in school led me to a career and a life in music. My favorite teachers, my inspirations in school, were Mr. Whitener and Mr. Carswell, my band directors. My dream was to be a music teacher.
Another facet: On January 14, 1995, I was at a concert in Lenoir, NC, where I honestly believe God spoke to me. I believe He told me I was to minister through music. Which I did, for a few years.
But what am I doing now? Certainly not music. Certainly not living my dream or pursuing my dreams, following the plan that I believe God had for me.
Now whose fault is this? Primarily, it's mine. I ignored the advice of Mr. Carswell when he said to go to school immediately, because I probably wouldn't get a chance to go later. I thought that I could fulfill the dreams on my own terms simply because I was there.
Think of the 12 disciples. Other than Peter, Andrew, James, John, and yes, Judas, what do we know of the others other than the fact they were there?
Joseph Hewes, William Hooper, and John Penn were signers of the Declaration of Independence from North Carolina. But what do we know about them other than they were there?
Listen- great things have happened because of the fact that I was here. I met my wife. I made relationships with wonderful friends. But it really feels like the steps I made with my life led me down an incorrect path.

This could all be the depression talking. But I'm tired of just being there. I want to get it back. I know I have the responsibility of a family now, but I cannot sit anymore and let life pass me by. I've let too many dreams go, and I've sat waiting . 

No more. 

I will be where I am now, but I will actively pursue the next. Others somehow have done it, why not me?

WHY NOT ME?

 

Can the Dead Live?

As this is written, it's the week before Easter. The celebration of Easter is not without its controversy in Christian circles, because, well, Easter didn't start out as a Christian celebration. It was mentioned once on the book of Acts, but it's not mentioned what was celebrated. In fact, the Apostle Paul only mentioned the commemoration of the Lord's death (1 Cor. 11:26).
But so much time has passed, and the doubt in people continues to grow. So I ask the question: Can the dead live? Is there really more than this? Where did this idea of resurrection come from?
A couple of weeks ago I put a request on Twitter (and subsequently, because my accounts are linked, Facebook) for Old Testament references to resurrection. To be truthful, there aren't that many. There are a few stories of people being revived, once by Elijah (1 Kings 17:21-22), once by Elisha while he was alive (2 Kings 4:32-37), and after he died (2 Kings 13:20-21). There's also Ezekiel in the valley of dry bones (Ezekiel 37).
Time for a song break- listen to Lecrae read the passage from Ezekiel in this song by Chris Tomlin:

Other than that, what mentions are there? Not many. Job 19:25-26 (KJV):
^"For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: and though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God"
Daniel 12:2-3 (Again, KJV): "And many of them that sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt. And they that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever."
Also see Psalm 16:10, Isaiah 26:19. There's more mentions in the book of the Maccabees, but sonce that's in the Apocrypha, a lot of people don't see that. 
This is why when Jesus came on the scene there was a division, and why a group known as the Sadducees did not believe in the resurrection. They used this division in belief to test Jesus' authority in his teaching in a hypothetical situation found in Matthew 22, Mark 12, and Luke 20. He immediately told them that they were in error, "because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God" (Matt 22:29, ESV). He goes on to explain that marriage does not exist in Heaven, and mentions how when God spoke to Moses he stated "I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living" (v.32, KJV). Why this astonished the people is this reason: Jesus stated that Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, though long dead, were ALIVE. With this in mind, it could be said that the parable of the rich man and Lazarus, found in Luke 16, is "based on actual events."
Speaking of Lazarus, or another Lazarus anyway, there's also the story in John 11. Lazarus, brother of Martha and Mary, was dead, and had been for four days. This was full-blown death, beyond rigor mortis, decay would have started. Before Jesus brings Lazarus forth, he tells Martha "I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die (11:25-26, KJV). 
This is why we can have the hope that we have. The dead can, and do, live! This hope is in Jesus, not only because he brought about resurrection, but because of his resurrection. 1 Corinthians 15 explains it far better than I can, culminating in verse 20. Better yet, Jesus tells John in Revelation 1:18, " I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death" (KJV).
Do you need more proof than Jesus? Ever seen a defibrillator? Ever seen successful CPR? Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation? It happens. The dead live. But these things are temporary. What Jesus has done is a permanent fix to this problem.
It doesn't mean we don't have to deal with the pain of death here and now. We will feel the temporary sting of death of our loved ones and friends. It's part of the curse we're under living on this earth. But we will live beyond this place.
Resurrection is real. The dead live. You will live. The only questions is where your permanent residence will be after this Earth.
Questions? Comments? Leave them below...

CD Review: GVB's "Sometimes it Takes a Mountain:" Not too Crabby, Not too Shabby

In late 2012 the Gaither Vocal Band released Pure and Simple. Pure and simple (pun intended), it's one of the best Southern Gospel CD releases ever. If you don't believe me, listen to their version of "The Love of God.:

Last year, Michael English and Mark Lowry decided to leave the group for the second time, putting an end to the all-star lineup. Before they did, they released a Hymns CD. As much as I hate to say it, it was uninspired. Contrived. Simply another hymns CD release.
The new lineup was announced, which gave me great trepidation, primarily because of one thing: Adam Crabb. If you know me, you know I do not like the Crabb Family. I do not care for their style, their presentation, the fact that when they performed the sound went up 200 decibels, basically anything.
So get ready for this. I will present this like I did the TaRanda review.
I am actually saying this: Adam Crabb and Wes Hampton sound really good together on the title song. I'm an adult. I can admit that. It's one of my favorite cuts.
Song that requires a warning label: the first song, "Jesus Gave Me Water," features running water on the track in the beginning. Do not listen if you have to go to the bathroom.
Song that you will want to repeat- repeatedly: "Written in Red," the Gordon Jensen song originally made famous by Janet Paschal. This cover, featuring David Phelps, can melt the hardest heart, and is simply beautiful.

Conspicuous by his absence: Bill Gaither?!? I think I hear him ONCE on the CD. He is said to be splitting bass and baritone duties with new member Todd Suttles, but I don't think I ever hear his voice. Todd Suttles is incredible, by the way.
On that point, this appears to be the beginning of the passing of the torch (just my opinion here). David Phelps and Ben Isaacs have been splitting producer duties of the last couple of CDs. You can hear more of David Phelps' influence in this, both in orchestration and harmony. It is quickly becoming his group.
The Gaither name has been associated with Gospel music for over 50 years. It's tough to think that there will soon be a day that Bill may not be traveling, writing, making videos...but that day is soon. He seems to be preparing for it. Prepare for it with us.

I don't believe I will get old, huh?

It's been an interesting week for me- moreso than usual, and I've been at home for the last two days of them.
Pull quote for the week for me came from my father-in-law. In casual conversation with him, he mentioned to me something to the effect that people my age don't think that I will get old, or believe that I will get old.
Yeah. About that.
Monday: I took my 86-year-old dad to the VA Medical Center in Asheville, NC for a shot in his knee. It was a nice drive, a quick trip, and we were back in time for the Price is Right. I changed his headlights for him in his car, and after a couple of stops, made it home in the snow. More on one of those stops later.
Tuesday I took my father-in-law to that same VA Medical Center. He had four appointments, and it took most of the day. One of his appointments was to get a new walker. That meant I rolled the walker he came in with around the rest of the afternoon. I sat entirely too long and dealt with too many extroverts. By the end of the day I could barely feel my right leg and was feeling pain in my low-to-middle back.
I guess from being bent over my dad's car, sitting and driving two days straight, my back has hurt so bad I missed two days of work. There goes any aspirations I may have harbored of being an OTR driver. (I never had those aspirations, Sheyna.)
I don't believe I will get old, huh?
I have a five-year-old girl that is starting to have an issue telling the truth. Meanwhile a girl I dated and a couple of people I went to high school with have kids with driver's licenses. One is a grandmother! Also, this is the year of my 20-year high school reunion.
I don't believe I will get old, huh?
I've been to entirely too many funerals in my life. I've sang at the funerals of a next door neighbor, grandfather, an uncle, two aunts, and a cousin. I found in this past year the burial site of my great-grandparents deep back off of Wildcat Road in Deep Gap. I realized then that I had not seen this country in 30 years.
I don't believe I will get old, huh?
On my way out of town on Monday I went to see Jenny. I haven't dropped by on her, probably, in this century. Jenny rests in the far corner of the Yadkin Baptist Church cemetery. She was seventeen, just three weeks graduated from Hibriten High. We were in band together, worked together at FairValue, and hung out with the work people after work. I had driven her red Dodge Neon before. I was never interested in her like a girlfriend or anything like that- in fact I took her best friend, Felicia, to senior prom- we were just friends. She was a lot of fun to be around. After I lost my job at FairValue, I lost contact with her.
The next thing I knew, she was gone.
Time has made an impact on the site. The concrete her gravestone sits on is cracking now, and has now turned a dark gray. The concrete bench at the end of her grave is weathered and worn, as well as the rabbit on top of it. Everything else there is at it was- little figurines brought by friends and family. One more thing- her mother now rests beside her.
I don't believe I will get old, huh?
At least I get the chance. Thank God for the chance.

CD Review: TaRanda IS Stronger

The year is 1997.
I am splitting time between my home church of Stone Mountain Community Church on Sundays and Westview Baptist Church of Boone on Wednesdays. Westview, at the time, is pastored by Tim Greene, one of the Greenes, a Southern Gospel group that has had a lot of success. Late that year they bring on a new soprano, 18 year-old TaRanda Kiser. In her 13 years with the group she marries Tony, helps in Tim's Loft Studio (including graciously singing background vocals on the two CDs my brother and I recorded), travels the country singing the good news, and has two beautiful girls.
In 2010, Tim is no longer able to travel at that time with the group. Tony has passed. TaRanda takes some time to herself, which she should have.
Fall 2014: TaRanda releases Stronger, produced by Geron Davis and released on Ernie Haase's Stowtown records label. Major kudos to Ernie for picking her up. The CD features 12 songs focusing on not just her journey, but that God has brought her so far, delivered her from so much, and given her a brand new life. Here's how I'm gonna break this down:
People will be disappointed in this CD if: They are looking for TaRanda Greene, Southern Gospel soprano. It's my belief that she is so much more than that now, and if you put her into that little box, you won't like what you hear. This is not a Southern Gospel CD. This is a Christian CD, full of contemporary, Southern, traditional gospel, worship, and even a little country music. Open your horizons and see who she is now, and YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED.

The must-listen to portion of this CD: Track 5, "Deepest Praise," and the seamless transition into track 6, "Healer." I have raved about "Deepest Praise" for weeks because it is that good. When I heard her sing it at Bald Mountain Baptist Church in West Jefferson a couple of months ago, I was blown away. You HAVE to listen to it. It transitions into the Hillsong favorite "Healer," and lets you know just how far she has come. (It's my second favorite version of that song, next to the one my cousins Tim, Nathan, Mark, and Mark's daughter Tiffany sang at my cousin Lilly's funeral.)
My least favorite track: It's hard to say there is a bad one, so I'll pick "Awake My Soul," simply because it's written by one of the known heretics called Phillips, Craig, and Dean.
Pleasant Surprise of the CD: "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain." Yes, you know this song from Willie Nelson. I was concerned when I saw that Jason Crabb was a guest vocalist on this track. If you know me or if you've read my stuff from the last 8 years, you will know I can't stand to hear the Crabb Family. Buy he's just singing harmony, and can't really be heard. It's a beautiful track and tribute, and TaRanda's harmony with Sonya Isaacs-Yeary is amazing.
MY VERDICT: BUY THIS CD. You can buy it here, download it on iTunes, or however you get your music these days. Support this wonderful friend, woman of God, and all-around great person. Listen to her story in song, and hear what wonderful things God has done.

Track list:

1. Stronger

2. Where Amazing Happens

3. Shackles

4. Awake My Soul

5. Deepest Praise

6. Healer

7. Promise

8. A Little More Jesus

9. If I Could

10. Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain

11. All I Need

12. The Sound

Breaking From the Theme

I've done something a little unusual tonight.
I've gone through and re-read some of my old blogs.
This is for two reasons: one, for inspiration, because I thought since the wife and kids are coming home later tonight, it would be a good time to put up another post. Two, just because I don't want to keep posting the same thing over and over. Goodness knows I don't want my writing to become stale- I have only a few readers as it is.
I realized that for the most part I am a little repetitive. Most of the time I follow the Biblical devotional style. That is, I talk about things going on around me, cite a Bible reference, talk about how it's all going to be okay, just hold on for the greater God has. In other words, the best is yet to come. I relayed how I lost my job at Family Christian Stores in 2010 and then the first thing I heard was how "Greater things are yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city."
(If you need a reminder...)

So here I am, almost five years later. A dreamer that is mired in a land of lost dreams. I was supposed to sing gospel music. It felt like God himself impressed that upon me back on January 14, 1995. I recorded two CDs with my brother, led music at my church for seven years. Was that all for that dream? Nine years worth? I know for a fact that God doesn't offer a temporary calling on your life.
It felt like I was supposed to start my own Christian retail store. Yet I have nowhere near the capital, means, or any other assets to start such a business, and I sure don't have a location.
I have several boxes of tile, two bags of thinset mortar, and grout outside waiting for me to put a new floor down in the bathroom. But that has to wait as well.
It just really feels like my life is in a status of "Incomplete."
I still believe the song- greater things are still to come. I totally believe the Bible. I know that glory awaits, I know that there are better days ahead. When do I see those better days?
Now do you understand why I have written two blogs titled "Depressed Christianity" and a blog titles "Called to Hardship." I'm kind of in a standstill. I have a wife facing surgery in a week in a half, expenses I have no idea how my one income is going to cover. I spend my days doing something that is the exact opposite of what I should be doing. Yet it's all I have to do. I'd love to spend a lot more time in the fetal position, but that isn't a practical option.

So that's the conflict. That's the point where what I believe and what I feel intersect. For you readers, I need your prayers. I believe the best is yet to come. I'd just like to see it come.

Called to Hardship

You may have seen from the last two posts on this blog that things have not been so good lately, psychologically speaking. I try to be nothing if not honest, and post my heart from where I am at that time. True, things are not always great. But I know without a doubt that no matter how good things may not be, I know people that have things far worse than I do. 
I think about the friend I saw in concert a few weeks ago. She lost her husband, a dear friend, four years ago, and had her entire world turned upside down. She recalled the whole story and talked how she entered a state of clinical depression. She is a real encouragement to me. Here is a link to TaRanda's website. You need to check out her new CD, and definitely listen to the song "Deepest Praise." 
I also think about a family that in the last week here in Ashe County has lost everything to a fire. A Wilkes County family that lost a little girl that was born no larger than a cell phone. My wife has had ear trouble since childhood and faces surgery in a couple of weeks.
There are lots of issues going on, and they're not just mine. 
The problem with Christianity in America today is that the fringe has become the mainstream, and many people believe a lie about the Christian life. They think if you declare certain things over your life, speak a certain way, do certain things, God will bless you and you will have no troubles. Jesus never said that. He said "In this world you shall have tribulation" (John 16:33). I Peter 4:12 says "Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you."
God never called us to ease. 
God has called us to hardship. 
Consider the words he said to Moses in Exodus 10: "Go to Pharoah...for I will harden his heart." In other words, go to someone that isn't going to listen to you. Does not sound like my idea of fun. Neither, of course, does leading a nation of people that do nothing but complain, question your authority, disobey the rules, challenge you at every step, and make you so mad they cause you to not receive your promise. 
Consider Ezekiel, and this from Ezekiel 2: "And he said to me, 'Son of man, I send you to the people of Israel, to nations of rebels, who have rebelled against me. They and their fathers have transgressed against me to this very day. The descendants also are impudent and stubborn: I send you to them, and you shall say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God.’" Ezekiel dealt with hardships,to be certain. God asked him to eat bread baked on dung. For goodness sakes, to show him His plans for Israel, God took Ezekiel's WIFE from him, and then told Him not to grieve. That is a life of hardship.
Of course, we don't have to look at the Bible for examples. Think about the missionaries that have been to your church. Where has God commanded them to? Think about where they have had to go to, what they have had to do without, what persecutions they face because of what they believe and where they are. Surely, if you believe the popular theology of the American church, they aren't living right.
I also think about my dad. He turned 86 this year. He still pastors the church he came to in 1970. This church is far away from the beaten path. He wasn't called to be famous, to be rich, to be popular. He was called to preach the Word of God in an out-of-the-way place in Caldwell County. He still faithfully does it.
The people I mentioned- why did they do what they do? Because they realized they were called to hardship. Because they realized at the end (along with many times at the beginning and the middle) the glory of God. 
Moses started by witnessing a burning bush.
Ezekiel started with a wheel inside a wheel.
He knows your path is going to be hard, and He wants you to know that it is worth it. 
That verse at the beginning from Jesus? Remember the rest: "but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." Hang on, friends. Hang with me. It will be worth it in the end.

Depressed Christianity, continued

(Starting off with a note: I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. If you think you have struggles with depression, you are not alone. There is help.)

None of what I write should be considered a diagnosis of depression. It comes in many forms. I just speak from what I believe God has impressed on me to write, my opinions of His Word, and also from the voice of experience. No, I have never been to a doctor or psychologist and sought out an official diagnosis, but I have felt so down in my life it has seemed like nothing helps.
If you read the previous listing (and if you haven't you can do that here), you'll get a little overview of my thoughts on depression in the church. Seeing an old friend last week who has experienced great tragedy in her life in recent years, and hearing her testimony, just solidifies that. Christians get depressed. It doesn't make them worse sinners. It doesn't mean they aren't saved. It means they are humans, and the emotions we face affect us greatly. Sometimes it means we don't feel anything at all, even when we should be happy.

If you have a friend that you believe, or in fact you know they deal with depression, there are some things you can do and not to to help them.
DON'T: Criticize. They didn't plan on being depressed.
DON'T: Tell them to snap out of it. They didn't snap into it.
DON'T: Hit them with cliches. For example, telling someone that is having a hard time at work "at least you have a job" DOES NOT HELP. IT NEVER HELPS. The depressed person is not looking for perspective.
You know, I used to love quotations, and have books of encouraging quotes. I have no desire to find those things.

Job's friends were a lot like this. Trying to convince him all the stuff he suffered was all his doing, admit to his sin, God is punishing him, all that he-jazz.
Don't be like Job's friends. You wonder why nobody names their kids Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar? Besides the fact that you can't spell them? This is why.

The best thing they did for Job was what they did at the beginning.
They sat in silence with them.

DO: Be there. You don't have to say anything. You don't really have to be in the room, you can be a room away or a phone call away. Just be there, and be willing listen.
DO: Pray without ceasing. Whenever you think of that person, talk to God on their behalf. 
DO: Love.

Finally, one more don't.
DON'T Give up on that person. They may not say it, but they need you. If the person is depressed to the point you think harm may come, help them seek help.

Comments are welcome below, or you can email me at jlwide@hotmail.com.

Depressed Christianity

There is a question I have dealt with for many years. To some people the answer is yes. To others, the answer is a resounding no. This question has lingered with me for years, and I want to take this out to all of you, however few or many of you there are:
Can a follower of God be depressed?
For the people that say no, I picture them like this:

(Don't misinterpret- I like this song.) Just the thought of depression is not wanted, not supposed to be visible. At the thought of depression we are just supposed to snap out of it. If you can't snap out of it, maybe you don't trust God. Maybe you aren't saved? You have such a problem!
I'm here to tell you my point of view on the subject.
I believe Christians can do and often will be depressed, and the Bible is full of examples.
Ever read the book of Ecclesiastes?
Solomon, author of Ecclesiastes, Proverbs, and the Song of Solomon, had it all. He was provided by God with wisdom, riches, honor, and power. He had more than anyone. But it wasn't enough. He sought after it all and came to one conclusion- it's all vanity and chasing after wind. In the routine of my routine, I can deeply relate.
The song above references the "Patience of Job" in the first verse. It's true that at the beginning of his ordeal that Job blessed the name of the Lord and "Never sinned or charged God foolishly" (Job 1:22). Then he cursed the day he was born, which was followed with much searching for explanation regarding why it happened with his "friends."
John, in chapter 5 of the Revelation, wept when he realized no one could open the seven seals to the scrolls.His anguish was short lived, but existed.
Even Jesus in the garden praying sought out another way than the road He was foreordained to travel on. He was God, yes, but at thus moment his humanity came to the fore.
Elijah did an amazing thing in chapter 18 of 1 Kings: He showed up 450 false prophets when God answered him and rained down fire. Then he witnessed the slaughter. At his spiritual top, he wa threatened by Jezebel. Then he ran for his life, asking for God to take his life.
After warning, and warning, and warning some more the destruction of Judah, Jeremiah composed his Lamentations.
I would say that is some solid evidence for depression. With most of these people, the only exception being Job's friends, no one was telling them to snap out of it. But in each situation except one, there was hope:
God was there.

• God warned Solomon to repentance through the prophets. He composed Ecclesiastes as a warning.
• God listened to Job and his "friends" and told him ultimately that His purposes are His alone. Then He blessed Job double from what he had lost.
• John was reassured to weep not, because the "Lion of the tribe of Judah" had conquered, and prevailed to open the seals.
• In Lamentations 3, the lamentation is interrupted with a message of faithfulness, and new mercy every day.
• Elijah traveled for forty days and was visited by God, not in the frenzied, overwhelming madness of power and might, but in a still, small voice.

Jesus is the exception, but He had to be. Other wise we would have no hope. I want to make a statement to you:
God often wants us to be alone to remind us that we are never alone.
Let that sink in. Preachers, you can use that one for free.
You will get down. It happens. It happens to me more than most. I'm not going to tell you to snap out of it. That doesn't make you "get better," and I know, it doesn't help. But He is there, and He wants to talk to you.
He's listening to you. He loves you. Listen for Him to speak like He did to Elijah.
"Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes in the morning" (Psalm 30:5).

To Wilkesboro...and beyond!

I realize I haven't placed a post on the Wide Scope in the past few weeks.This isn't a surprise- consider how many posts I have actually put up in the last two years.
Post I still do and post I shall.
In the meantime...
A friend of mine has started a blog called Wilkesboro and Beyond. A couple of weeks ago he asked me if I could contribute a couple of  posts for him.
In the words of Barney Stinson, "CHALLENGE. ACCEPTED."
He had some ideas, and I had some ideas. So far, I have contributed two.
The first is a posting regarding the Hibriten High School Band, which, if you've read over the years, know is dear to my heart. That post can be found here.
The second, which was unplanned and kind of spontaneous, regards the Lenoir Mall. Here is the link to that one.
I'm still figuring out the dynamic of typing and sending to someone else, but so far the system is working, and can only get better. Of course, feel free to peruse the other posts by Jason and the other authors. You'll find a variety of postings regarding other topics.
I have a couple of other ideas I'm working up, so stay tuned. I'll let you know when more is available.

Catching the Vision -or- "Great. Another Football as life Metaphor."

The above title can lead to a lot of wondering of how this author can weave a tale about football and relate it to life in general. This will be a little different, so go with me.
In 2013 the Carolina Panthers won the NFC South Division with a 12-4 record. It was a very successful year, but a loss in their first playoff game revealed room for improvement. So, in the offseason, they did something I still have a hard time fathoming:
They said goodbye to every one of their wide receivers. Also, their most experienced and possibly best offensive lineman retired. This included Steve Smith, Sr., the most famous and possibly the best player in Panthers history. Panthers fans very surprised, disappointed, and very vocal. This extremely introverted, potentially Aspergian author, was as vocal as he could be.
New receivers were signed and drafted, the preseason proved lackluster, and the NFL season began. You may have heard some details from it, most of them not football related.
On the Panthers' end, though, nothing but good news- when it comes to the action on the field. The team is 2-0, so far, and this past week shut down the best receiver in the league. The offense has been enough, essentially, to get the job done, and can only improve as Cam Newton gets into the flow.
If you're not a football fan, you're bored by now. But the point is this: I now know the plan the Panthers' management had when they set this offseason plan forth- and I like it.
In other words, I can see the vision.
Proverbs 29:18 starts in the King's English: "Where there is no vision, the people perish." In The Message, it says "If people can’t see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves." It finishes: "But he that keepeth the law, happy is he," or "But when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed."
Here in the middle of our messes, it's hard to see what God is doing a lot of times. We live in a time of terror, doubt, uncertainty, and fear. I personally live in a time of immense stress and seemingly little reward for that stress. Some days are harder than others. and none of the days are easy it seems. I'm currently reading a wonderful book by Anne Graham Lotz called Wounded by God's People. It's fabulous. It takes the Biblical account of Hagar, Abraham's servant and mother of Ishmael, and relates it to the wounds, difficulties, and issues that we have faced from other Christians- and also things we may have done to others. She also references in this book Moses in Exodus 33-34, asking God to show him His glory. God showed up for Hagar at a time of rejection from Sarah. God showed the back of His glory to Moses. I'm also reminded of Elisha in 2 Kings 6:17 praying the Lord would open the eyes of his servant Gehazi to see the army surrounding the enemy at his door. Elisha had the vision- and it thrilled him. Gehazi needed it. 
What I'm saying is what Anne said in that portion of her book. What Moses asked in the cleft of the rock. What Hagar needed to see. What I need to see. Ask God to show the vision. Ask for His guidance as you travel through the situation. I grant there are times where it is too great for us, and He simply asks us to trust. Take His hand in those times, and walk with Him. One day you will be able to see it all clearly, and will rejoice.

Revival n' Wrestling

It's time to play a game of true confessions. Since I'm the only one with a voice on this blog, I'll go:
I have been a wrestling fan for 27 years, since I was ten years old.
There. I said it.

It used to be fun in 4th and 5th grade, especially after school when I would wrestle around with others in school, we put each other in figure-four leglocks, etc. I even went to school with my face painted as Sting.  I was the only one I knew that was a wrestking fan, though, after 6th grade.This used to be something I had to keep quiet about.
Wrestling became mainstream in the 1980s, thanks to the efforts of Hulk Hogan, Vince McMahon, and the WWF's Rock n' Wrestling time. The NWA was what I gravitated toward, however, thanks to living in North Carolina, and World Championship Wrestling on Saturday nights. 
Wrestling revolutionized in the 1990s, with the NWA morphing into WCW, the Monday night wrestling wars, and the "Attitude era." It also got a lot more raunchy in different aspects, and things got a lot more real.
Wrestlers were dying.
I used to collect wrestling magzines like crazy. I read Pro Wrestling Illustrated like it was going out of style, while my friends read comics, Tiger Beat, etc. I remember the deaths of Mike von Erich (David was before my time), then Bruiser Brody's murder, the fatal accident that killed Adrian Adonis. Then it was Chris von Erich, then brother Kerry. Then it was Brian Pillman, later on Owen Hart, then the list grew by leaps and bounds. If you want to get an idea, check out this site. It goes from the 1980s to the 1990s, and then starts breaking down by 5 year increments, if that tells you anything.
There was a common denominator on all of them: drugs, suicide, or heart conditions. Rick Rude, Curt Hennig, the list continued to grow. Chris Benoit's seemingly tragic-then revealed murder-suicide shook up a lot of people.

Something else started happening as well. Something glorious. It started with reading the book Every Man Has His Price by Ted DiBiase. There was Jake Roberts becoming born again. There was my childhood hero, Sting. 
Wrestlers were being saved by the grace and power of God.

Shawn Michaels, Nikita Koloff, and the Road Warriors, Hawk and Animal. Hawk (Mike Hegstrand) is unfortunately one of the wrestlers that is also among the statistics of wrestlers that died early, but told quite a story of deliverance from drugs and a dangerous lifestyle before God called him home.
In the last two weeks, two things brought this back to me. I finally got to read Lex Luger's book, Wrestling With the Devil. God saved him from, basically himself. I lifestyle of self, drugs, alcohol, infidelity, and deceit, that found him dealing with the death of Elizabeth Hullete and in jail.  His story of redemption is well worth a read.
This past Sunday was the other- getting to meet Marc Mero at Bald Mountain Baptist Church here in West Jefferson, NC. Here's a link of pic's his team took of this event- I'm on the far left of the congregation shot (just saying). He has a powerful message that he is taking to schools and churches, and I wish his group the best. They are changing lives and reaching people.

I am so happy to see what God is doing in the wrestling world. The battle is still going on- I noticed former wrestler Shawn O'Haire committed suicide this week at age 43. The saddest thing I saw while reading his biography was that he was a practicing Buddhist. That breaks my heart, knowing what that means for his eternal soul.
The really good news for us Christians is that our battle, like the wrestling world, is pre-determined. We don't know what our battle will look like, how long the match will be, but we know who will win the match.
Now that should get a pop!

What am I up to? About page 250.

Is blogging a lost art already? Have our attention spans grown so short that we no longer can look at anything more than two sentences? Do people no longer have time to even write a couple of paragraphs?
Sorry. Didn't mean to start on a tangent.
What does the title mean?
Well, in the last couple of years (since 2012) I have become an avid reader. I used to read only biographies, and even then only sporadically. Since 2012, I've been devouring books. I don't know what triggered the change in me, but I love it. I've read several topics, wrestler biographies, books about the introvert nature, UNC football and basketball, books about Asperger's syndrome, music, even books by cartoonists.
My big interest has been Civil War history. This was true before I started reading in earnest, but my knowledge has expounded since then.
For example: in 2010, I chose in my college English class to write a position paper justifying the South's secession from the Union. I aced that paper, by the way. If I could go back and write that paper in 2014, I would not only re-ace it, I would blow that paper away. The thing is, we have been taught so much wrong information about that time period and the reasoning behind the war, it's scary.
My latest book has been turning heads, primarily because of the size of it. People at work have been doing double takes and asking me about it- primarily because of the size My mother-in-law has even looked at it in bewilderment. To them, I guess I look like Charlie Brown carrying around War and Peace.

  The book is called Memoirs of Service Afloat, by Admiral Raphael Semmes of the Confederate States Navy.

Okay, that picture may not make it look that big. Let's measure it for perspective:

Most people tend to shy away from books with a 3 inch spine. Yes, it's 833 pages, not counting the Preface and Introduction. But after a week in I am a quarter of the way through and am thoroughly enjoying it. Admiral Semmes was an excellent storyteller, defender, and expounded on the justifications for what happened in an amazing fashion.
(By the way, the cause of the war was NOT slavery, like you've been told.)
So the journey continues. I'll expound more about what I learn and have learned from other authors and books in future writings.

My Return & The Solution to the Problem Facing America

Not that I have that opinion of myself. I am not the solution to America's problems, though if more Americans thought like I did, we'd have a lot less problems. (That's not overly boastful, is it?)
But here is what I'm talking about- the solution to the great problem facing America.
What problem am I talking about? The "threat" of climate change? Obamacare run amok? Terrorism? Rising gas prices? Justin Bieber?
No- none of those. I'm talking about...

When you see this logo, what do you think of? Do you think of disparaging images of American Indians? Do you look of them as oppressed people in American history? Do you think of them as anything different than you?
I don't. I know in God's eyes, we are all people, equal in the sight of God. When I see that logo, I think of:
Slingin' Sammy Baugh
Joe Gibbs
George Allen
John Riggins
Sonny Jurgensen
The Hogs
This guy:

Doug Williams and his awesome Super Bowl XXII performance
RGIII
But don't get me wrong- I'm not a Redskins fan. I've had lots of fun with Redskins fans reminding them of :
Richie Pettibon
Albert Haynesworth
Jim Zorn
Steve Spurrier's lips flapping like a horse
and this:

Do the Redskins need to change their name? Absolutely not. The name is meant as a tribute, just like the Chiefs, Braves, Indians, Blackhawks, and Seminoles. If this name goes down, you guys are next.
So here is my solution. Don't change the name, change the mascot. Presenting the new Washington Redskins:

And okay, this is not my image, but I'm glad to see that someone has thought of it:

Look at it like this: you would be promoting nutrition, so Michelle Obama would be on board. Vegetarians would not be upset, and meat eaters would be happy as well, because what's better than meat and potatoes? Farmers would be happy, and the name would linger on.
What are we waiting for? Let's embrace it, and pay the person that created this image (whoever they are)!
Problem solved. Thank you America. I'll be back in a week or two.

Church Signs, Part 3: One Letter Can Make a Difference

It's been a while since I've had enough church signs to put up another post, especially a themed one. But I've been driving to work the last two weeks-
-and I am going to say: I am not picking on these two churches. I'm really not. But I drive by these two churches four to five times a week. I see these things all the time! It sits in my head and I say to myself, "I have to get a picture of that before they change it." Of course, the one church takes four months to change their signs. But I'm not picking on them...
But a valuable lesson can be learned from these. One letter, when improperly placed, can completely ruin a church sign's meaning.

"Women who fears the Lord is to be praised." If you think that is proper grammar, I cannot help you.
Ready? Here's another example:

 That "E" is back. It has reared its head and changed the meaning of this verse completely. Let everything that hath: breathe, and then praise the Lord. Thanks, but try again.
This last one...

...I can only wonder. Does no one else notice it? Has no one else driven by and thought: This isn't right? Has the person that does this church's sign ministry not been told?
Oy.
Well, until the next time these churches change their sign...

I'm back. And I'm Tired.

What happened to me?
I haven't composed a blog since February. Blogs aren't going away- I still know lots of people that have them. I know for me I lost a lot of inspiration, and really don't get the time to think these deep enriching thoughts that warrant a blog post.
The truth is, I'm tired. Mentally, the job I work takes a lot from me, my schedule doesn't really allow me to stay up late but a couple of nights a week, and I have time to just look at the computer. A lot of that time is sorting through people's sharing of Facebook posts telling me to like and share something I could care less about, or something I do like but I don't want to click "Like" because I don't want to be a sheep, or a picture telling me that if I don't share it I'm ashamed of Jesus.  Then I sort through a couple of hundred baby pictures (no offense), recipes and what not, and then I realize that there isn't really a lot going on.
When I check other sites (Twitter, news sites), I'm bombarded with things and thoughts from people that are really complete idiots that now have an avenue to voice their opinion.
I'm tired. Mentally, I'm tired and really don't have time to do this much. Physically, I'm tired. With my new work schedule I work one less day a week. But the time spent at home recovering from the four days doesn't lend itself to actual rest.
Ideologically, I'm tired. I'm tired of people being crucified for something they might have said thirty years ago that has no bearing on the person they are today. If you've seen news in the last week, you know what I'm talking about. I'm tired of the politically correct society that demands that certain groups must be bowed to and if you are not sensitive to them, you are not to be a viable part of the culture.
Spiritually, I'm tired. I'm tired of sin being glorified. I'm tired of people celebrating the fact that our country no longer stands for what the Bible says and that the fabric that held our country together gets ripped at every single day.
My in-laws like to watch the news, but I can't stand to look at it for more than four seconds. I'm burnt out hearing everyone's opinions. Facts are not reported anymore. Everything is based on what someone thinks, which is usually wrong, and I'm sick of it.
Ultimately I haven't blogged because I was afraid my next post would come out sounding angry and like I'm a cranky old man. I think since I just put out a post, I've proven myself accurate. A couple of weeks ago I mentioned I'm starting to finally understand the meaning behind the Gaither song "Build An Ark." More and more that statement is proving true. Maybe God wants me for a mouthpiece for Him and against all the drivel in the world.
Take a listen. Who knows, maybe in the future I might blog again.

"Even so"

The Weather Channel has lost its mind

I have made comments several times over the past about TV networks that have lost their original focus. I understand why the networks do this- money. Stations need revenue, and to get that, you have to have advertising revenue. To have that, the ratings have to prove that you are being watched. To be watched, you have to present things that get the viewers' attention and keep it.
I have ranted in the past about MTV, TV Land, History Channel, A&E, CMT, Cartoon Network, etc. All of these networks are not what they were, and I really don't watch them very much.
But have you seen the Weather Channel? Remember when they used to show weather? Now I'm not really concerned about Ice Pilots, Lifeguards, It Can Happen Tomorrow, or any of their other shows. What gets me is their newest thing: naming winter storms.
(For the Weather Channel's explanation on why they are doing this, click here.

It's not a bad idea on the surface. But the names they chose are a little weird. The first time I realized they were doing this was when I saw something about Winter Storm Iago. Then I saw the list. The next one I saw that gave us 11 inches this year was named...

 

So then they had Luna, which didn't amount to much,but did make me think of a female wrestler from the 1990s that shaved part of her head and had it tattooed. Then there was the storm from last weekend. The frightening and intimidating...

Nemo.
A storm that didn't blanket the northeast, it buried it. And the Weather Channel named it for a little clownfish that got away from his dad.
The next one that was going to Minnesota was named Orko. Never heard of Orko? You have if you watched He-Man in the 80s:

Orko was created to be comic relief for the cartoon. In an equal fashion, naming winter storms is proving to make the Weather Channel a laughing stock. The Weather Channel is owned by NBC, which has a history of hiring notable people of intelligence and intellect on its sister news channels, people like Chris Matthews, Al Sharpton, and Keith Olbermann. (FEEL MY SARCASM, PEOPLE!)
NBC is dangerously taking the Weather Channel down the path to irrelevance. They go wall to wall when the weather dictates, but otherwise have little interest in showing weather. The bad thing is they are the only game in town. If you want weather on TV, you have to go to them.
In other words, are you listening, Fox? We need competition so we can watch the weather! Come quickly before winter storm Q zaps us or Rocky comes and knocks us out!

I Watch TOO Much TV With My Kids

That is a very true observation. We do like to watch many things together.
Because of that, however, I have garnered many observations about children's TV, and I would like to share them, since I haven't posted anything on here in, well, forever.

• Have you ever watched Baby First TV with a young child? It is extremely addictive. My wife calls it "Baby Crack."
• Doc McStuffins might be the best show on for kids right now. I said that, and I'm a man.
• Max & Ruby trouble me. I don't know how many years this show has been on, but I have never seen their parents. Their grandmother checks on them periodically, but where are they? (Thanks to Amber Benge for reminding me of this.)
• Also, Max typically says one thing throughout the whole episode that is the key to the show. Ruby is oblivious all the time, and doesn't learn her lesson until the end of the episode. You would think that for as long as this show has been on she would get her head out of her rear end and start listening to her little brother.
• I miss Handy Manny. I liked that show. But I always wondered what was really going on with Manny and Kelly who owned the hardware store.
• Dora the Explorer helps teach to Spanish as part of the show. But have you ever seen the show on a Spanish network? She's not teaching English to those kids. What's the deal? Why the double standard, Dora? Que Pasa?
• Speaking of Dora, do her parents know that she is out on all these trips? If so, are they really okay with it? Also, when is she going to get a GPS?
• I cannot in good conscience allow my children to watch Sesame Street anymore. Thankfully, they have no desire to. And no way will they ever meet Elmo.
• Why are my children so drawn to Peppa Pig? It is crudely drawn and British. But they think it is hilarious. It could be because they snort so much. 

That's all I have for now, but as I watch more kid's shows with my little ones, I am sure that more will arise.

What Have We Learned in 150 Years?

Have you heard about the secession movement? If you're watching TV news, you have not. They wouldn't report it. You see, America is UNITED now. We're all happy, excited the election's over, and ready to come together, right?
WRONG!!!
Apparently 30 states have petitions going to the website of the White House asking for the peaceful secession of their respective state from the Union. The White House says that the President will consider any petition that gains 25,000 signatures. There is a news article on an alternative media site (which you can read here), and it's even caught the attention of  Glenn Beck. Coincidentally, this story has come out about the same time of Steven Spielberg's Lincoln film.
Now, two years ago I wrote an incredible position paper in my English class about how the South was justified in seceding from the Union. (Just being honest- it was incredible. I aced it- an eight page paper.) I am quite captivated with the history of that time. I do think that the founding documents of this country do not forbid a state from seceding. I won't go into all that detail here, but will if it warrants.
I also think that today's secession movement has something else going for it: no slavery. That's what we're told the Civil War was all about, and because "History is written by the winners" (paraphrasing a phrase attributed to Winston Churchill), that's what most people say it is. But there were other reasons for secession- an economic structure that favored one part of the nation over the other, and the belief that the few were legislating against the wishes of the many. Now those reasons sound familiar.
But here is why I will NOT sign either of these petitions. First is the fourteenth amendment of the Constitution, ratified after the Civil War ended and mandated to each state as it reentered the Union to ratify. Section 3 of that amendment reads like this:
"Section 3. No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may, by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability."
This should disallow many Senators from their current service. But that's a topic for another day.
But this says that essentially anyone engaging in a form of rebellion from the US is no longer able to serve in government of any form.
Also think about part two of this: to sign the petition you have to create an account on the White House website. Do you really want the White House to know that you no longer want them to be a part of the country? Is that really smart?
I didn't think so either.
Shelby Foote said during Ken Burns' The Civil War "It was said before the war 'The United States ARE.' Now it is said 'The United States IS."Obviously after 150 years we are more divided than ever. Only God knows how long we will stand.
So what do you think? Feel free to leave a comment. I'd like to have a discussion on this.