Sunday, April 26, 2015

Living Someone Else's Dream

A couple of weeks ago I was at work and noticed that in one of the break rooms they had put out a note pad. Someone asked "How are you doing?" which got a couple of responses, kind of a way to put out there communications between people that would otherwise not talk.
A small gesture, but anyway...
On the second page, there was a quote on there, someone trying to put out some encouraging platitudes: “Race the wind, blah blah blah, follow your dreams.”
Below that was found this response: “Sorry I’m not as chipper as you. But as long as I work here, I’m following someone else’s dream.”
I was captured by that, because that is, in essence, me. I am following, I am living someone else's dream.
My time in school led me to a career and a life in music. My favorite teachers, my inspirations in school, were Mr. Whitener and Mr. Carswell, my band directors. My dream was to be a music teacher.
Another facet: On January 14, 1995, I was at a concert in Lenoir, NC, where I honestly believe God spoke to me. I believe He told me I was to minister through music. Which I did, for a few years.
But what am I doing now? Certainly not music. Certainly not living my dream or pursuing my dreams, following the plan that I believe God had for me.
Now whose fault is this? Primarily, it's mine. I ignored the advice of Mr. Carswell when he said to go to school immediately, because I probably wouldn't get a chance to go later. I thought that I could fulfill the dreams on my own terms simply because I was there.
Think of the 12 disciples. Other than Peter, Andrew, James, John, and yes, Judas, what do we know of the others other than the fact they were there?
Joseph Hewes, William Hooper, and John Penn were signers of the Declaration of Independence from North Carolina. But what do we know about them other than they were there?
Listen- great things have happened because of the fact that I was here. I met my wife. I made relationships with wonderful friends. But it really feels like the steps I made with my life led me down an incorrect path.
This could all be the depression talking. But I'm tired of just being there. I want to get it back. I know I have the responsibility of a family now, but I cannot sit anymore and let life pass me by. I've let too many dreams go, and I've sat waiting . 
No more. 
I will be where I am now, but I will actively pursue the next. Others somehow have done it, why not me?
WHY NOT ME?