Monday, December 1, 2014

Breaking From the Theme

I've done something a little unusual tonight.
I've gone through and re-read some of my old blogs.
This is for two reasons: one, for inspiration, because I thought since the wife and kids are coming home later tonight, it would be a good time to put up another post. Two, just because I don't want to keep posting the same thing over and over. Goodness knows I don't want my writing to become stale- I have only a few readers as it is.
I realized that for the most part I am a little repetitive. Most of the time I follow the Biblical devotional style. That is, I talk about things going on around me, cite a Bible reference, talk about how it's all going to be okay, just hold on for the greater God has. In other words, the best is yet to come. I relayed how I lost my job at Family Christian Stores in 2010 and then the first thing I heard was how "Greater things are yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city."
(If you need a reminder...)
So here I am, almost five years later. A dreamer that is mired in a land of lost dreams. I was supposed to sing gospel music. It felt like God himself impressed that upon me back on January 14, 1995. I recorded two CDs with my brother, led music at my church for seven years. Was that all for that dream? Nine years worth? I know for a fact that God doesn't offer a temporary calling on your life.
It felt like I was supposed to start my own Christian retail store. Yet I have nowhere near the capital, means, or any other assets to start such a business, and I sure don't have a location.
I have several boxes of tile, two bags of thinset mortar, and grout outside waiting for me to put a new floor down in the bathroom. But that has to wait as well.
It just really feels like my life is in a status of "Incomplete."
I still believe the song- greater things are still to come. I totally believe the Bible. I know that glory awaits, I know that there are better days ahead. When do I see those better days?
Now do you understand why I have written two blogs titled "Depressed Christianity" and a blog titles "Called to Hardship." I'm kind of in a standstill. I have a wife facing surgery in a week in a half, expenses I have no idea how my one income is going to cover. I spend my days doing something that is the exact opposite of what I should be doing. Yet it's all I have to do. I'd love to spend a lot more time in the fetal position, but that isn't a practical option.

So that's the conflict. That's the point where what I believe and what I feel intersect. For you readers, I need your prayers. I believe the best is yet to come. I'd just like to see it come.